My Life

2009-02-21T21:40:00.000-08:00

Wondering what I'm busy with lately?

Wells...

My blogshop is open for business! Guys, friends, come for the housewarming!

coachcollection

2009-01-30T20:01:00.000-08:00

Picture of the Day

I miss those times in Singapore... =|

Hi all...everyone's waiting for this update from me since I come back to US right? Wells before I touch on my life so far in Tucson, I'll want to record down the best times I have in Singapore, especially during the last few days, and even more with my dear...I love you dear...

Me and Carol dear went down to Eski bar near chinatown, where we had some chilling time together, hugging each other to keep warm, and posing together for photos... We took the photo with my car, which I parked right outside of the Eski bar... That was the second time I went to a bar in Singapore, and my best too, because I had someone special with me =)

See the specs that my girlfriend is wearing? I bought it for her =) and its a transition, marie claire specs... Shes really really happy when I bought it for her, because its something that she can have it on her all the time. =) We also went to ECP to rollerblade just before I leave Singapore, holding hand in hand, skating in the sun just beside the sea...=) After that, she came to my house for a bath, before heading down to my family dinner...seeing how happy she is, having so many hongbaos from my relatives, and even a big hongbao from my mum, I felt really contented just to have her...

Of course, how can I forget my closest group of friends that I have? We had the farewell dinner at zhen fa huo hai xian before heading towards kallang indoor stadium to chill out...Took loads of pictures, and stored loads of memories together.. Hey guys, without me you guys still can always meet up just like last time...I'm not the only one among you all yeah? Everyone of you plays a part in this circle of friendship..

On the very last night before I fly off, I spent my time with my dear. Of course, time passes as quickly when we're having fun together...How I wish time could've slowed down even more..Kinda dreading it as time gets closer and closer to 1030pm. The long walk down the road...holding hand in hand for the last time...hugging and loving each other so much that we don't want to let go of each other, and the final kiss we had...seeing her leave from my visibility, from my grasp on the last time...Its all so tough and heartbreaking for me to leave just like that...The last calls we had together when I'm at the airport, and dear sacrificing her sleep and her night to be with me all the way....Thats what makes me even more committed to her, and accepting her past, accepting her for who she is...

And before I left, I did alot of things specially for her, especially the photos from the photoframe...see it in the picture? I did every single one of the pictures myself, designed and edited to perfection...So to let everyone know how much we've gone through, I'll show it to everyone..

So what have I been up to lately? Wells, pictures will tell more about my life ever since I come back to Tucson. I'm sure that everyone will know better of my situation if I added more pictures about my house, pool, gym, car, driver's license, Samsung behold, the food and the scenery...enjoy my pictures...

....though I'll still wanna unleash hell upon people who deserves it from me... I swear I'll never let it rest...over my dead body you bastard.

2008-12-05T02:10:00.000-08:00

Picture of the Day

Hello =)

Its been awhile now since I last blogged. Hope everyone enjoyed my Taiwan post? But if there's a chance, I'll definitely go back to Taiwan for leisure in future.

Apologies for being missing for almost a month here. I've been busy with lots of things. Packing my room, stuffing everything into a few carton boxes, meeting with friends...etc. I've also just got my 4 wisdom tooth extracted, and now its so very inconvenient for me to do anything outside.

Something tells me that holiday is over, and its time to buck up for the next adventure of my life. All of a sudden, my house seemed empty once again. All our boxes have been collected and shipped to US yesterday. A recollection of my memory, all happening all over again...

Guess what I found while packing my room?

Ancient stuff eh? The battery has been untouched for years inside the game boy. Yet, it can still be played after so long. =D

So what have I been busy with lately?

First, after I came back with the gifts from Taiwan, I met up with Ming Xiang to pass her the things. Look at her gleeful smile!

I also met up with Yeeling after her work for lunch, at Xing Wang's restaurant. Boy, I miss Singapore food even though Taiwan's food are delicious.

That night, on invitation from my Taiwan friend, we headed down to St. James power station. Of course, the club is very different from Taiwan. Though I prefer club in Taiwan, Singapore's club is not too bad.

A week later, I met up with Wanyi for lunch, Kbox and dinner. Short meetup together, but its well worth it. Definitely =) because its a friend whom I've not met for a long long time!

Also, Faith asked me out on a Sunday evening. the thing that she don't know, I was gonne have dinner at Chinatown with my family, and shes meeting at Chinatown. So... she had a meet the parents session. LOL. Feels very very weird but...

Also met up with Yeeling again for dinner. I just love hanging out with her. Had Bakuteh =D

Of course, not forgetting about Lydia's birthday celebration at her house!

Last week, before I went for my wisdom tooth operation, I had Kbox session with David and Jocelyn. It was really fun =)

So thats that about my life, and commitments which got me so busy. Of course, I also got hooked to conqueronline once again, and...to my girlfriend =D

Thats it for today. Tata. I'll try to update, but I think I'm getting lazy.

2008-11-10T04:34:00.000-08:00

Taiwan Trip, 301008-051008

Day 1

Planned Schedule:

1030 Terminal 1 Check in
1300 Flight Take Off
1740 Take Bus to Taipei Main Station and take Cab to Hotel
1930 Arrive at Paradise Hotel
2000 Settle Down and go Ximending for Dinner
2230 Luxy Nightclub

Day one hasn't been too bad, with just a few minor problems here and there. We had breakfast at the kopitiam in terminal 1, before heading to burger king for lunch, all within a short span of 30mins! lol. And Clement still managed to forget the list that I asked him to print out the night before, after countless of reminders to how important those documents are especially when its all for..lol. Gosh.

While on board jetstar for the flight, we got so bored, and started taking all kinds of random pictures. Surprisingly, jetstar really shows that takeoffs and landing can actually proceed darn fast. Imagine e moment the airplane turns onto the runway, the plane just accelerates and flew, and done continuously without breaking at all.

Reached the airport in Taiwan, collected our lugguage and headed out. While debating on what transportation we should take to reach Ximending, a cabby uncle came over and kept insisting that he send us to the airport. The price was kept quiet until we insist on knowing the cost, which turns out to be 1200 Taiwan Currency (about 60 Sing Dollars). Instead, I went over to the bus counter, and voala! I bought two tickets on the bus to Taipei main station costing 180 Taiwan Currency, and we took a cab after reaching Taipei which cost an additional 120 Taiwan Currency. God, I saved 45 Sing Dollars, just like that.

Even though the hotel was freaking small, it was quite cosy. After settling down, we went to Ximending for dinner.

Culture shock! The girls in Taipei really cannot be compared to Singapore girls. Every corner you turn in Ximending, there'll be a bunch of girls walking around. Mini skirts, darn short pants and everything.

We had dinner at this random shop, which was rather plain and I didn't really like it. After which we walked around and found...what else? Fried chicken meat! Just like in Singapore, it's coated with plum and chili powder. As we walked around happily with our 'treasure', we decided to have some desserts as the chickens were too spicy.

We proceeded down to Luxy Nightclub, just as planned. It's my first time going clubbing, and I really liked the clubbing atmosphere in Taipei. Clement say its rather nice, as he has been clubbing and pubbing in Singapore before. Oops there goes his secret to the world. Anyways, we enjoyed ourselves, being out-numbered by girls there.

Day 1 is really enjoyable. Tomorrow will be a better day 'cause...we're going shopping! Time to shop for stuffs for my friends =) You know who you are.

Day 2

Planned Schedule:

0730 Breakfast
0845 Martyrs' Shrine
1130 Lunch
1230 Danshui Shopping
1700 MeiliHua
2100 Shilin Night Market

After a decent sleep for 4 hours over the night, we headed out of the hotel as planned. Ximending in the morning is really different from the night, where all the shops are closed. Since we've no idea where to look for food in such deserted area, we decided for Macdonald's for breakfast. Not a bad choice!

After that, we decided to take the train from Ximen station to Jiantan station where Martyrs' Shrine supposedly is located. Here is where we had a darn pissed off day, losing way all the way until late afternoon. First we took a wrong route to Ximen Station, then when we reached Jiantan station, there's nowhere and nobody who knows about Martyrs' Shrine since we don't know the chinese name for it. We picked a random bus and just board up, and luckily it headed to the right direction. However, we missed one stop, so by the time we walked from the previous bus stop to the Shrine (approximately 20mins) the change of guard has just ended and everyone is heading off to their tour buses. LOL Imagine how disappointing that was. However, we managed to view the next change of guard parade...

After which we took the train to Danshui Station. Once we reached there, we took another wrong street, and found ourselves climbing up a mountain. MOUNTAIN! Can you believe it? Luckily, Clement saw a bus that says Fisherman's Wharf, and we just hop on. At first, the place is just purely deserted, and imagine that we were hot, sweaty, and hungry. So after such a bad start to our tour, I was really really fed up. Uh oh...caught Clement looking at girls!

Luckily, Fisherman's Wharf did have stores over the other side of the white bridge, so we managed to grab some decent food, and some nice shopping. Enjoyed the seaview before we chose the ferry to get back to Danshui station.

Voala! The ferry took us right to the exact location that we wanted to go =) Did alot of shopping, food, and lots of shopping. =) I promised dear Yeeling that I'll get her stuff, but the problem is that the masks that she wants, she said it could be found anywhere, like Watsons and 7-11. However, after so much searching, spending the entire afternoon, and entering more than 10 cosmetic shops, I finally found the item in a shop, and they're having offer. Fantastic! The lady told me that only their shop sells that product. LOL thanks Clement for tagging along while I went everywhere practically searching for it.

After that, we headed down to Meilihua, and had some light shopping. Of course, not forgetting the 7 Sing Dollar ride in their ferris wheel. That makes Singapore's Flyer seemed so overpriced. =|

Oh and guess what we heard and saw over in Taiwan's Meilihua?

Finally, after such a tiring and hectic day, we did light snacking at Shilin Night Market before heading back to hotel to rest. My camera ran out of battery by then, so no photos here.

Note: Practically spent most of the time looking for the masks today. Lost alot of time getting lost in Taiwan.

Thats all...for today...TATA

Day 3

Planned Schedule:

0800 Breakfast
0930 CKS Memorial Hall
1030 Presidential Office
1200 Dingtaifung Lunch
1330 Shopping at ZhongXiao DunHua
1530 Jacky Wu's Tang Chao Dessert Shop
1600 Taipei 101, World Trade Centre, Taipei Planet Hollywood
1800 Jay Chou's Restaurant
1900 Wufenpu Shopping
2200 Raohe Night Market, Lava Club

For today, everything went pretty smoothly as planned, except that we didn't visit presidential office, world trade center, Taipei planet holliwood and Jay Chou's restaurant because of shortage of time and we didn't know how to go for some. We also didn't go to Raohe Night Market because we were enjoying shopping too much, and Lava Club because we planned to go tomorrow instead.

Breakfast was good. Simple and nice food by the road side in Ximending.

After that, we went for tour around CKS memorial hall. The scenery and the hall itself is fantastic, with lots of tourists enjoying themselves. We decided to skip presidential office because we feel that it'll be pretty lame, and we didn't know the exact location.

Lunch at Dingtaifung is delicious! We had like 3 basketful of yummy food and a bowl of wanton soup, all for less than S$20 per person! I even get to take a photo with one of the pretty service lady in Dingtaifung. Hehes. While walking along the street, we came across Jacky Wu's Tang Chao Dessert Shop by chance. Upon asking, we found out that Jacky Wu already had withdrew his shares in the chain restaurant. Nevertheless, the dessert are indeed fabulous!

Went to SOGO for shopping, before heading to Taipei 101 to look around. When we reached there, a huge portion of the building is covered up by torrents of clouds high above. Upon my friend's suggestion and also partly based on the rainy weather, we decided not to spend this S$20 to go up the building. Instead, we decided to use it for shopping. I bought 2 books costing around TW$500 from the book shop in taipei 101. But sighs, while shopping afterwards, I accidentally lost the books, and until now I'm still upset on buying stuffs and losing it at...Wufenpu.

After Taipei 101, we went to Wufenpu at Houshanpi station to look around. Finally! We found the heavenly place for clothes shopping. The place is so huge, we actually shopped from around 1930H all the way till it closes at 2330H! Ok mainly its because, like Clement has been 'complaining', I've been shopping, hunting high and low, searching feverishly for my dear Ming Xiang's clothing. Even though I didn't managed to find what she's looking for, nor what Yeeling wants, but I did get something really pretty for MingXiang. Oooh I really hope she likes it, especially after I've searched so long for her items.

I realised I've come too late to Taiwan, because almost all the clothings sold here now are long sleeve shirts for winter. Thus, all the short sleeve hoodies that Ming Xiang wanted has been kept by the store owners back into the warehouse. Aww how sad. Still, I hope she likes what I've chosen for her =)

Tomorrow's gonna be real busy again. My legs are on the verge of breaking down after so much walking, searching for my beloved friends items. But still, its all worth it! Hehes are you guys touched?

Day 4

Planned Schedule:

0800 Breakfast
0900 YangMingShan
1200 Lunch at Jay Chou's Restaurant
1300 Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall
1500 Shopping at Wufenpu
1700 Shopping at Shilin Night Market
2000 Shopping at Ximending
2200 Rest in Hotel
2230 Lava Club

Out of so many plans we had, only YangMingShan and the Shoppings excluding Ximending has been fulfilled according to schedule today. Even Lava club almost got cancelled, thanks to Mr Clement who keeps portraying in public that his stomach is in pain. I had no choice but to FORCE him to go, which is well, because it was a well worth it trip. Even his stomachache from the whole day had somehow 'subsided' during clubbing.

In YangMingShan, we thought that it is just a location in Taipei that can be reached on one peak, overlooking the rest of Taipei. Instead, it turns out to be a huge area, covered by many mountain peaks. We reached some pretty nice places, but the rest of the time we got lost, and we walked all the way until 2pm to backtrack our trails and take a bus down the hills.

We couldn't find Jay Shou's Restaurant, and since we got really really hungry, we decided to just have our lunch at Taipei Metro station. We even had a donut after that as appetizer.

After that, we went back to Wufenpu first to look for my lost books. Guess what happened? I managed to find my books and retrieve it inside that huge ass area! We headed down to Shilin night market after that for light shopping and makan.

Today was a pretty crazy day, with Clement giving the usual look on his face as though he had constipation the whole day. It was pretty screwed up thanks to him, and he even wanted to cancel clubbing, after I've cancelled from yesterday to today! For those who knows Clement, then you should know that he has a hell of kickasses excuses for everything in his life, even his tummy 'upset'.

And yes, I'm pretty mad at him today, and the past few days, for being so insensible and unreliable. Seriously, I can't even imagine if he'll get to find a girl who can tolerate his nonsense, especially when overseas where he dumps his stuff everywhere all over the room, and for having so many 'uncle' behavior. So much that I can't even stand him now.

Oh btw, he did something really ridiculous today. An uncle accidentally bumped into him in the train, and the uncle said, oh dui bu qi, bu xiao xin zhuang dao ni. Guess what's his direct reply to the guy? 'Its okay'

Geez

Anyways back to the topic, we went to Lava night club in the evening. At first, it was damn sian 'cause there wasn't many people around then. Then, there was a Hong Kong couple who came over to sit with us, and the lady who's rather cute spices up our conversation. It was rather awkward for me as its my first time going to a club, and the lady started taking photos with me with my camera, joking and chit chatting, and even initiate to exchange email address. Its awkward 'cause Clement who was together with me, didn't get initiated by her to take photos and everything. In fact, she seemed rather disturbed by his behavior, so clearly that she's not interested in even striking a conversation with Clement, least taking photos. However as Clement lately has changed, he found excuses that're damn obvious just to take photo with her. Gosh I was rather pissed with his attitude.

But, Lava club is really a great recommendation, and the girls there are HOT. I'm not elaborating much on the blog on the club, as some younger readers on my blog can't know about it. However, my suggestion is if you wanna see young girls dancing on the dj bar top alot, and even some pretty titillating 'shows' that spices things around there (especially for the guys) then this club is highly recommended. Not saying much, so search online and it'll be better. In any case, We stayed there until 3am in the end, 4 hours of great music and non stop dancing.

Its 4.30am now. Gotta sleep.

Day 5

Planned Schedule:

0800 Breakfast
0900 LongShan Temple
1000 Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall
1200 Lunch at Jay Chou's Restaurant
1400 Wu Lai
1800 Toilet Bowl Restaurant
2000 Shopping at Ximending
2230 Kbox/ Movie

SO how was today's schedule? Well to be truthful, non of the planned schedule was met. The reason?

WE GOT SCAMMED!!!

Yeah you heard me. Looking back at what happened today, I must really admit that we were too gullible.

Or perhaps Taiwan people are good at cheating people, when they've decided to do so?

Take a good look at the bastard who cheated our money. Even the CCTV in Longshan temple recorded down the footage. I'm not putting this so that everyone knows of my plight. I'm doing this to warn all Singaporeans that, never believe a stranger that easily even if he appears very nice, buying drinks and cough drops for you for free, or even if that person took his time to tour you around.

Because no person is a good person, especially in a place like Taiwan!

And btw, I got scammed at the Longshan temple. I did remain alert and cautious, but just because I thought that I should remain respectful to other people's religion, I stayed put at my location.

My lesson from this? That even though people in Taipei appears rather nice, it's never wise to trust a person fully. Like what my uncle said, even a bus conductor could be a crook. In this case, I believed he took his own time to build up our trust by bringing us everywhere, before using our trust and respect for taoism to cheat us of our money. He did a good job though, acting as though he's our tourist, bringing us to the prawn fishing, electronic plaza and everything..Sighs

On the brighter side though...

I visited the police station in Taipei. Not many Singaporeans have been there, ain't it?

We even saved money by not shopping at all.

Day 6

Planned Schedule:

0800 Breakfast
0900 Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall
1000 Jiu Fen
1200 Lunch at Jay Chou's Restaurant
1400 Wu Lai
1800 Toilet Bowl Restaurant
1900 Wufenpu Shopping
2230 Kbox/ Movie

Although we had a really bad day yesterday, today turned out to be a brand new day. We can't possibly stop enjoying ourselves even though we got cheated yesterday right? We had a very simple yet blissful breakfast, enjoying our breakfast in Ximending.

After that, we proceed to Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall, where we had a very simple tour by the tour guides over there. Why, we even took a photo together for memories =) We realised that Mr J Cafe is nearby, so we decided to get to his restaurant for lunch. Turns out that we went there too early, and it wasn't opened yet. Sighs! Still we got some snap shots of it.

We tried going to Jiu Fen after lunch, where we went to a location to look for the toilet bowl restaurant. Somehow, we were unlucky as the branch over at Xinpu station has collapsed and closed down. Dejected but not giving up, we asked around and found out that there's another branch in Ximending itself! We had lunch at MOS burger instead.

Wu Lai was really fun. We took a public bus all the way up to Jiufen, which took about 30mins or so. That place is really really beautiful, with lots and lots of scenary. We kinda feel dejected as we knew that there's alot of hot springs everywhere but we didn't get our trunks to enjoy the simple life. Oh wells, we decided to walk all the way up the hill for the cable car ride up another mountain, which saved us more than T$250 itself. The ride was great.Beautiful scenery, impressive structure that can even be built in the middle of a mountain. Had fun over there before proceeding downhill.

We headed to some shopping area as recommended by Yeeling. However, that place doesn't have any shopping areas so we decided to head towards...where else? Wufenpu! I had a really crazy time shopping and shopping and shopping, more for females rather than males. Yups I bought a few female clothing for my cute friends back in Singapore. After that, we went to Ximending for the toilet bowl restaurant but it was already closing the moment we reached there. Oh wells, we shall go there tomorrow instead then =)

We bought really alot of items, especially clothing on my part. It was so much, I thought it weights much more than the food which we bought (And its alot man). We even had trouble packing our luggage! We shall see how tomorrow then, whether we exceed the weight limit or what. Hopefully not!

Oh and we skipped Kbox again. we were too tired to continue having fun tonight. So for now, its time to sleep!

Day 7

Planned Schedule:

0900 Breakfast
1000 Toilet Bowl Restaurant
1200 Check Out of Paradise Hotel
1230 Bitan
1630 Check in to Jetstar Flight
1835 Flight Take Off
2305 Home Sweet Home

Finally! Time to go back home to Singapore today! These few days have been fun and tiring, and even though we woke up rather on time the last few days for our tour around Taipei, we finally overslept today! Guess it was the tiredness that got us so exhausted. Still, we went off around 11pm for lunch. Even though it was the last day, we did managed to get a good meal before going back hotel to check out.

Surprise! We found out that our lugguage can actually be kept with the hotel until we get ready to move off to catch our flight. So we decided to leave all our lugguage at the hotel before proceeding to Toilet Bowl Restaurant for our dessert =) I love the ambiance there!

Took a cab to the bus terminal before proceeding to the Taoyuan airport terminal 1 to check in to our flight. There, a lady approaches me and ask for directions boarding the jetstar flight. And of course being me, I obviously couldn't resist helping, especially when girls approach me for help.

Clement's kinda sad though...it never happens to him ever in Taiwan. Nor Singapore =D. And following me around seeing girls approaching me to take photos and stuffs should be quite disheartening for him.

But it feels good for me =D

Anyways, we hooked up with the lady, and I'll be bringing her around Singapore as she tours around this place. This Friday would be the first day, and hopefully she'll have fun =). Also thanks to her, we managed to get a few packets of tax free liquor under her passport.

It really beats knowing more people, even though if they're of different nationality. =)

Reached home way after midnight. The whole trip was really really fun, though alot of things happened in Taipei. Oh wells, what happens there shall be left behind. And, this concludes our whole trip in Taipei!

Oh, and here are the things I bought from Taipei!

2008-10-29T18:59:00.001-07:00

Hellos =)

I'm off to Taiwan for holidays today...No updates for a week

Look forward for my Taiwan trip updates then...TATA!

2008-10-24T01:02:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Specs ORD Exercise

Something just tells me, that it's time to stop procrastinating and start packing my room.

No its not a voice that is whispering into my ears. It's the carton boxes (all 60 boxes of it) that has arrived at my house, that will be shipped over to US once the packing has been done.

To many, such an opportunity to stay abroad is very tempting, and most people will not reject the offer to study abroad. But for me, I'll rather choose to stay and get rooted to Singapore. It may seem to be another milestone in my life, but how I wish I'll not have to abandon what I have come to love.

But for now, updates on the dudes hanging out for lunch at the prata house

Lunch @ Prata House, 07/09/2008

Just a normal meet up for lunch with Priscilla and Clement. First, I drove them down for lunch at the prata house, where we had our favourite..what else...Pratas!

After the lunch we had, since the weather was pretty hot, we decided to drive to Sembawang park to chill out. What greeted us however, was more humidity and heatwaves. So instead of enjoying the breeze that the sea would bring, we had to endure the miserable hot wind instead. Still, we enjoyed ourselves cam-whoring there, before heading to Priscilla's house. Once there, we did something really hilarious just for the fun of it.

=) We were just that bored. Still even a simple meal on an absolutely perfect Sunday afternoon could be so much fun with your friends around you.

On another note though...

Remember that time when I mentioned about me getting a 2 week free pass to true fitness? It was a really great place, and I enjoy working out in that environment. Even though I didn't manage to snap a few picture of the gym, I did however snapped a picture of myself and clement in the changing room.

And I just can't wait for me to be healthy again so that I can continue with my routine on losing weight...

Alas, I had to mention this while on the subject of fitness. I went to the National Dental Center yesterday, and after some checks on my teeth, both my wisdom teeth on the bottom has impacted my 2 molars. Whats more, both are directly on a horizontal impact.

And I'm removing 4 wisdom teeth all on a single day, under general anesthesia, on the 3rd of December =(

Anyways, I wanna thank Ming Xiang for the past 2 days for spending time after her work having dinner together, chit chatting and just hanging out. =)

I'm just simply gonna miss all those times yeah...all these will become memories very soon. I wonder how everyone will become in 2 years time after my return...

2008-10-22T08:02:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Outing to Jurong Bird Park =)

I'm back for updates. These past weeks has been horrible for me. I've been sick throughout my outfield, with fever that couldn't stop fluctuating. I've been trying to recover as quickly as possible so that I can start my weekly exercise regime all over again.

Anyway, a quick update on my life. Came home on Friday night from outfield, after shouting ORD till my throat became unbearable. Went out to Jurong Bird Park on Saturday morning with my friends (Which I'll update soon, when I have the time). Did some medical reviews FFI for my USA trip, which the doctor said I have to remove one of my wisdom tooth. The lady at the counter recommended all 4 to be removed instead. Wouldn't the pain kill me?

Anyways, updates on the previous trip I had to Malaysia with my family.

Malaysia Trip

Headed to the golf coast first for some sightseeing. The toilet is ownage man... as seen in the slidepix. It even has a sauna, jacuzzi and a gym inside the toilet. Goodness!

I can just imagine how my future bathroom will be like =D

After that, we headed to this shop called The Cendol Factory.

ADVERTORIAL 5 out of 5. Located just in the vicinity of Sunway College, on the second floor. Great ambiance, and the best place to chill out after a tiring day. The cost of a durian cendol is about the same as cendols found in Singapore, if not cheaper. A must try!

Had a few glasses of beer before dinner...and we headed down to the Peking restaurant located in Johore. The crabmeat fried rice I had was the best I ever had. The meat is all tender and full, and unlike most fried rice in Singapore, the crabmeat was like spammed onto the whole plate of fried rice. Delicious!

After dinner, we headed back to the hotel for a few glasses of liquor. The whole day wss just great, chilling out, hanging out and relaxing in paradise. I doubt I can have anymore chances in future for such enjoyment after I fly off. sighs.

I wonder..will you miss me after I leave? Will you be gone with someone else after my return? Is there even a possibility that I can be accepted into your life?

2008-10-08T08:02:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Met Ming Xiang after 2 Years... Goodness

WooOrdy Post...No Slidepix today.

I've been travelling on the edges of emotional roller coasters lately, rounding every corners and turns at high G-forces. Sometimes, I don't even know what I'm feeling at the moment. Whats with all the turning points in my life right now, I could've just given up. No doubt everything will not be the same ever again.

I don't feel like updating on any slidepixs on my life events for today, just purely on regurgitating the outpouring of emotions struggling to get off me right now.

I finally understood what it meant to be constantly being in love, subconsciously and unknowingly. I might have blurt out once, maybe twice in the past. Do you ever have the feeling of being in love all these while, but never realizing it until you have to leave her life? Have u ever felt a crush on this someone right from her first day in school, and never realized how much she meant to you until you realized how much you missed her?

Somehow I've this fear within me. What if this feeling that've developed all the way from young, growing stronger and more concentrated as time passes, turns out to be a one-sided feeling? What if this feeling has never been reciprocated?

I'm still denying all these while...

For the past few days, I've been feeling low rather than the cheerful side that everyone sees me in squadron. It just seemed that everything in my life is affected. I can't eat well, lots and lots of gastric, I can't sleep well...And I just can't stop thinking, stop feeling...

How hilarious though...when I was in CHC, I've been trying to open up myself and my emotions. Yet no matter how hard I tried, how much effort I've contributed, it never works. Yet the moment I've decided on freedom in my life instead, my life was turned around. I've experienced so much that I'll not let go, and even though I thought I could never have feelings again, or that emotions does not exist within my vocabulary anymore, I was proven so wrong.

Call me dumb, or incorrigible, or that I'm just so stubborn that I never want to confess how I feel about her. Yes I still fear rejection. But what I really want by being so stubborn, is so that I'll not hurt her. Who am I fooling? I'm going back to US yet how can I possibly think about confession before rejection after going back to States.

Oh wells...

On a calmer tone, I'm getting closer to my ORD date, and I'm staying out now. Life's getting really good everywhere, as the new specs are taking over my appointment as the next detachment commander this Friday. I'm so enjoying my life right now, unlike some people who're still struggling overseas, within their mind, and fighting over their own choices. Oh haha perhaps there's not any fighting within's one mind since its the path that us human chose individually.

Anyway I'll be going outfield this Saturday all the way till Friday, so do not expect any updates from me during this period. But no matter what, I'll keep updating after I come back from...BERSAMA LIMA!

2008-10-01T06:56:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Me at Daryl's Birthday Party

Another holiday. Another boring day.

Not really. Just the usual hangout that I've been busy with, gym and stuffs. Gym sessions are increasingly more productive for me. I've no idea what's gotten into me lately, being so enthusiastic about fitness. Perhaps its just a cycle of life? I recall a phrase that was rather familiar to me, that in life, there will always be seasons, both positive and negative.

No matter what, I love this ongoing season of my life, and I hope to maintain this pace of life. Alas, it's a pity I can't stop the ongoing, ever-changing seasons.

...Its alright, I'll get used to it. Hopefully.

I know, I've been emotional lately. But I can't help it.

Whatever we have right now, it'll become memories, JUST another portion of memory that will cloud with dust with the passing of time. What I have now, it will become hazy in a few good months. But I'll not let go, of all the times we had together. I'll not let go, of what I've now, and keep it as close to me.

SO much for the talking, it's time to present my updates for today

Teacher's Day, 29/08/08

Finally took sometime back to Northview with Yeeling for teacher's day. Even though it's been like 5 years since I left NVSS, the memories were still as clear as though it was just yesterday. Sigh..how I miss those times.

Anyway, met Clement and Malcolm in school before we headed down to Comex PC Show, then to lunch at pizza hut Suntec. Malcolm received a prank call while having lunch together, and he was like...what the heck. But anyway, we had lots of fun chatting about the good old times.

How I miss those memories.

2008-09-27T21:35:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Chilling Out After Dinner

Drought of emotions are pouring all over me. I recall saying to Evelyn at the beginning of the year, that time will pass extremely quick. I was right. In the blink of an eye, 10 months has passed since I made that simple statement in my life.

Met up with Yeeling once again for dinner and shopping on Friday night. We had a really great conversation after that. Somewhat from our talks came a whole string of weird emotions pouring within me, as we examine our lives on how it'll be like in 2 years, 10 years and the day we pass on.

I know, it sounds really weird thinking of events that will happen a long way into the future. What if somewhere on this earth, there is a reflection of oneself that brings it into this century? Or perhaps, is it possible that we might even meet each other 1000 years later, back to the location where we sat yesterday, in a totally different shell, shape and size. Perhaps during then, we would be total strangers becoming friends all over again. The tease.

But I believe, what really got my feeling machines all working again, is the fact that very soon, what I'm going through right now and all the friend(s) that I've will become pure memories, something that I'll look back in future and realise how much I've missed; How much I should've treasured even more and not take things/ people/ friends for granted.

There is a saying goes: You'll realise how much you really treasure what you love only when you lose it.

How true.

The greatest distance is not from a corner of the earth to another, but the separation between two hearts adjoin together.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm just reflecting on my thinking and not based on my current feelings.

Plus, I've gone through all these before, and knowing that I'm going to lose and miss alot of things in Singapore doesn't help me much to be better well prepared.

Back to the topic: My feelings. Of course, my feeling for HER (Again please do not be mistaken) I've remarked lately that the only draw back is my feelings that I'll not be able to release. Yes that is usually the case, though a new character has came up: Confusion.

But anyway, for today's update, I'll be blogging about my outing with Karen =)

Ice-Skating, 11/08/2008

We finally met up after quite awhile, with me suggesting for Ice-skating this time. After much reluctance from her part (She doesn't know how to skate lol) We finally went down to the new skating rink at Kallang. I promised her that she'll not fall lol. THe new ring is so much better compared to the one in Jurong, and we had loads of fun there. So anyway, we went for dinner at the Japanese restaurant at the top level of the leisure park.

After dinner, we headed down to the nearby Kallang river to hang out. Lol don't be too shocked by the string of UNGLAMS below.

Thats all. Tata!

Oh btw I did some test online. The questions are irrelevant, in the sense that it asks about what you prefer seeing or choosing what you prefer to see about surroundings in life. Yet, the facts about my character is pretty accurate. Try it!

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

2008-09-21T06:06:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

High Tea at Marriot Hotel

Finally! I managed to take sometime off to update about my life. Lately, I've gotten so busy that being at home even for a few hours (not including night time) could be quite impossible. Let me update on what's going on with my life this past week.

ECP Outing, 13/09/08

Last weekend, our usual gang had made arrangements to meet up for bird park outing, with complimentary tickets from Clement's sister. Somehow, clement being as he is, had not bothered to constantly reminding his sis to get the tickets. He only asked after I bug him to ask about the tickets 1 day before the outing. Guess what's next? His sis had really forgotten to get the tickets, thus the outing was canceled.

So anyway, we decided to go cycling at ECP instead. Even though everything was last minute, the trip went rather well. I'll update the slidepixs for it on another date. But first, Enjoy the slidepix below that I've created from the outing.

I've no choice but to make this so small, like half the normal size of my slidepixs. Otherwise, this will lag your computer like mad. Anyways, I've had so much going on with my life right now, that I couldn't have the time to update until today.

ECP with Yeeling, 02/08/08

Finally! This post is rather special since it's the first time I asked Yeeling out for cycling, instead of our usual indulgence of food, buffets and temptations. Anyway we went cycling the day after we went shopping like mad together. Really really glad to have her around my life =)

Oh and after clement left, we went back to our temptations...Food. She wanted the mochi, and I wanted to try, soo....that's why we bought it =D No regrets though. Its really really good.

Wild Wild Wet, 09/08/08

Don't Clement and Priscilla look nice in the picture? Haha well hope you enjoy it Pris. This is my revenge ever since u posted our picture at WWW from a distance. Wells, here's the closer up version, minus me =)

And I didn't pay for the tickets, oh no. It was from my birthday chalet (If you guys still remember) where I've 6 free tickets to WWW. Turned out to be a really enjoyable and cold day, even though it did rain towards the end of our outing. Caught the movie 'The Dark Knight' after that, before heading down to Chong Pang area for dinner. Hey, the food tastes as good as it looks, so If anyone wants to try, just ask me out and I'll gladly bring you there.

Oh and Priscilla, this is for you:

Uh oh...Opps! Unglam to the MAX!

LIFE

Been wondering what's going on with my life? Wells firstly I've done up my application for University of Arizona, and the forms are going to be sent over tomorrow. I hope to get into honor's college too, with all the scholarships for me. Haha.

I've been going out and spending alot lately. Why, I think I'm going broke real soon at the rate I'm spending. But anyway, I'm gonna ORD real soon, so I think I'm gonna start saving for US trip.

And last week, I didn't miss a single day shoot for my combat shoot. Real surprised. The targets appear randomly anywhere, yet I hit them all down. Indeed if we set our minds to something, it is achievable no matter how impossible it may seem.

And I've set my mind. I'll do my best and come back Singapore in future with status, and no regrets on missing out life in Singapore...

..and her.

I'm so confused lately, undeniable that I've changed. I've a sense of direction now, a clear goal in view. Yet, it feels like a dream all over again, and I'll miss all those times we had together. Sometimes I wish fate wouldn't be so cruel, having to miss the chance once and regret possibly for a lifetime. But missing the chance twice? I'll be regretting perhaps. How I wish I can tell you, that I love you. But I can't.

2008-09-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Me =)

Its been awhile now, and I've news for everyone. My life has turned dramatically and somehow for some reason, I've been way too busy currently with my life to keep updating and editing more slidepix. Believe it or not, I've like about 10 more slidepixs to update for the past month, and its still adding up right now. Argh!

Anyways just for slight update, I've been busy with friends, outings, camp, more outings, application to US university, planning for outings, more outings, free gym at true fitness and Taiwan trip planning. Goodness! So much to do, so little time. I still wanted to post everything up so that everyone can keep up with my fast-paced lifestyle now. Anyways,

Mooncake Festival, 13/09/2008

Time changes and we grow older. I remember the last time I met up with everyone to play with candles, sparklers, eating mooncakes and just meeting my group of friends was like the year when I was still in secondary school. Friendship changes, attitude changed, character changed. Still, I'm thankful for the two friends who've never left my life, be it ups or downs, unlike friends who doesn't give a damn about you. Thanks Priscilla and Clement =) Friendship rocks!

PS. I'm short of time, thus I did that slidepix in like about 30mins. Apologies for less interesting post today. Plus, I might be way too busy this whole week to update.

That's all!

2008-09-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Me and Karen. Love this picture =)

So last weekend, me, Clement and Priscilla met up for lunch at the prata house along Thompson road. Pictures shall be updated again on the prata lunch, but everyone can take a glimpse of it in Priscilla's blog @ http://prislivebook.blogspot.com/ =D Kinda promoting her blog in my blog. But anyways after that lunch we headed down to Sembawang to chill out (Or rather warm up?) and the weather was so freaking terribly unbearably HOT. So after that we went to Priscilla's house, and we did some silly things, like these:

Kays we were really bored and lame, so we really had nothing better to do. Anyways after I've reached home, I took a few pictures of Priscilla that I took secretly upclose, and I made this for her:

Gigantic poster of Priscilla

I realised I'm getting hooked with photo design on photoshop =)

2 days back when me and Clement had dinner together after hanging out around yishun park, we came across a scene where a chio jc or poly girl was buying bubble tea from this shop thats handled by a young beng. Perhaps its because that the girl was so pretty, the guy actually spilled a whole container of bubble tea. Its freaking hilarious and we were not being sarcastic, because after that we can see the young chap's face turning bright red.

And somehow it reminds me of my embarrassing incident, where I accidentally did something foolish just after looking at this girl at the bus stop. My face went red and started burning too, and I could see that girl giggling away while glancing back at me.

Ahhh so embarrassing. Why am I sharing this? It totally makes no sense.

Oh btw, a lady called yesterday telling me that I've won a 2 week free pass to planet fitness. Yayness to that. I'm going down later to the area with clement to try it out. =D

Shopping Outing, 01/08/08

Met up with Yeeling once again after my birthday chalet, but this time, we went out for a crazy shopping and eating trip! Yeah it sounds really lame where the guy will follow the girl around to buy stuffs, but this time, its the girl following the guy everywhere to buy clothings. Anyway, my camera is on low batt, so all that I managed to take was our lunch and dinner.

Lunch was absolutely fantastic! Everyone should try it out at least once in their life =)

Anyways I was having mood swings last night. I've no idea why though.

A moment of advice, a lifetime of regret.

Unexplainable circumstance, undeniable fact. I can't deny at all, and myself. Yet, I've no intention of causing history to repeat itself. People say: once bitten, twice shy. Yet sometimes due to uncontrolled seasons of life, we may lose control of our beings, and our minds as well.

I think I'm turning into a freak.

Or rather, to be exact, I'm turning into the 2 face guy from batman returns.

And perhaps I've no intention of explaining what every single word means here. I guess there's only one person in this world who can decipher the exact meanings behind the shadow of fakeness between my words, but again her thoughts may be wrong, drifting to something more obvious than the unimportant. The degree of my words and her thoughts could be that far off.

Something of such insignificance in her life could somewhat have impacted me quite alot. What was it exactly? I'm not clear even myself.

YES, I'm confused.

No denial to that.

Is it wrong to love someone, knowing that it'll never workout, In the present and perhaps a high probability of the future as well?

And I think I'm losing it. (Pun intended)

2008-09-06T08:54:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Me and Yeeling, back in Northview =)

Surprise surprise! Updates again in just 2 days. I'm not updating just for my thoughts solely, but also rushing to update on my life events for the past month asap. So finally, I've done quite alot within a short span of time. There'll be two events for today's post, so ENJOY!

A1 ORD Chalet, 29/07/2008

Since all my A1 guys ORDed just yesterday, in the sense that it's their last day in the squadron, I thought perhaps this would be a great time to complete their full NS cycle with my post, dedicated just for them. But well before we start with the actual party, Cam-whoring for the A1 specialist =) Whoever says that NS guys can't cam-whore?

The weather was superb, thus we walked to the beach near downtown east to chill out. Anyway after hanging out away from the chalet for quite abit, we decided to start walking back to the chalet, and we found the rest of the operators having fun.

We took alot of photos, keeping it safe as part of our memories. What's shown here is, I guess, not even half of what's taken on my camera. Still, it tells of all the fun and enjoyable time we had that day. Even though the speeches are long, everyone is surprisingly not bored over them. I guess its simply because, its their ORD chalet =)

Anyway guys, just want to say, well done to all of you, having gone through so much. You guys really deserve the long awaited ORD, and you've all got it. Good luck!

To my FCE crews, thank you all for guiding me as your Detachment Commander. Even though us specs started way behind you guys, the attention you guys gave to guide us along and never forsaking us is very touching, and we're thankful for that. Thanks to you guys, I've become a much stronger, more responsible commander. Without you all, I'll never have grown. Good luck to all of your future!

Just a bit of thoughts before I go on updating the other event. Wells the University of Arizona representative has contacted me, and the details that were given to me are worth it. In short, its a good news to me, and I will be applying to the Uni anytime now. The reason partly to why I've not been updating, or that I've been very busy is because of this application. Its not just any University application. It also involves bank loans, test submission, and even submitting all the scholarships I've gotten before. So guys and girls, I apologise for the lack of contact with you all, as I've been busy with lots of stuff. Oh and yeah, I gotta plan my taiwan trip too, as it'll be really soon =)

My guard duty ended this morning, and while I was driving back home from camp, I came to a traffic junction. As my car comes to a halt, I was momentary distracted by this pretty looking butterfly that swifts past my car's front hood. Just as it passes over it, a bus doing a left turn came up unexpectedly. Luckily, it misses the butterfly by inches, missing a hard-on collision with the bus.

Somehow, reality struck me. In life, everyone is given a chance to live, a chance to fulfill his dreams. Every obstacles before accomplishing that dream could be the last attempt that we have, the last chance that we've been given by God. Ironically, the chance to live or otherwise is already planned. Yet, if we don't die trying, we'll never know whether we'll have crossed that traffic juncture, and live on to strive for another day.

Somehow, I'm touched by God's love for that moment. Thinking back, I realised that I've no grudges or anything, just that I'll not return to the place where I left in the past. Still, I'm thankful for the plans that've been made in my life, especially after what I've gone through the past few days. God has and will always be faithful, even if we've lost that faith in Him. Unconditional love. Hopefully I'll start anew when I return to USA.

Back to the next update I'm posting, It's actually an outing to Harry's bar at esplanade. Shenton invited us along, so I went together with them. Didn't regret afterall.

Harry's Bar @ Esplanade, 01/08/2008

Turns out that the day we went there under invitation, it's actually for the Martini InnerCity Festival 2008 closing ceremony. So, we got all the martinis for free, complement from the Harry's Bar. I took some photos of the martinis and boy, don't they look so delicious and tempting.

As delicious as the martinis look, it taste really great except for one which taste really horrible, with a hint of tabasco added into it. But still, the guys had a really great time together. (Shenton wanted to stay until the live band starts too)

And thats all for today's update. More will be coming up soon, I promise =)

2008-09-04T06:26:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Movie with Clement and Priscilla

I'm having rather eccentric behavior lately, contributed partly from the flu and cough I've been suffering for the whole week. I realised, that in order to succeed in getting past a certain stumbling factor, only advocation of strength and hard work produces result.

I've not been updating regularly, going back to my weekly cycle. Laziness? Procrastination? I'm putting it mostly on my life. It has changed, totally from what it used to be. In the past, I despise going back to working in camp, dreading that the weekend is coming to an end and going back to torturing. Now? I've no reason not going back into camp, not when I'm enjoying it. Indeed, I've more authority over my guys, over my situation, and over my LIFE. Wow thats a huge word right? Small but impacting.

Yes I've fell sick since last weekend, yet I've to return for my guard duty. Thats how I got myself MC for 2 days, before going back camp for more stuffs to settle before handing over my commanding position. Somehow it feels good thinking: I'm going to hand over the highest hierarchy position a Spec in Alpha can get, one that has a probable chance of being promoted after leaving the squadron.

And yet, this is not the matter that is troubling me most.

Oh no. Rather, I've been flustering over my application to the University of Arizona. I've to return back to America very soon, yet the application is causing me headaches. That is why so many obstacles have to be crossed before getting towards my goal. I'll not go in-depth of what is blocking me, since these are my problems, and I've got to overcome it myself.

Speaking of which, do you know that I've been accepted into the University of Arizona when I was 16 1/2 Years Old? Yes I've gotten into Pima Community College too, and thats why I chose the latter. I still got the University acceptance letter somewhere, and I'll post it when I find it. But for now, some achievements I've received from Pima.

Yes, I earned that honor's degree after only 1 1/2 years. Not many people know that I've gotten honors for my studies in America.

And yes again, I earned that two scholarships, and got some sponsorships as well. Actually I received a third letter for collegiate awards, but it seemed pretty wasted spending so much money on the award books itself.

I know. Thats why not many people knows me really that well. But I just want to highlight some of the best moments I had when I've gotten all those awards and my degree.

My best moment during my NS so far?

Picture taken during my overseas exercise in Australia.

Movie Outing, 27/07/08

Finally I've finished creating the slidepixs. Well this time, Clement, Priscilla and I met up for the movie 'Money No Enough 2'. The show was surprisingly more emotional than comical, something that I wasn't prepared for. And I'm sure everyone agrees that it's a great show, with family values behind the scene right? Yet somehow, I feel that the movie was overdone, in the sense that it is too cruel and heartless.

Now I'm sure that Singaporeans are not that horrid in reality, perhaps 1/4 of the heartbreaking scene will be more realistic. Perhaps thats why I wasn't that touched at the end of the movie, knowing that Singapore society isn't as bad as that portrayed in the show. Prove me wrong, or pardon me for my ignorance on studying more into Singapore's society. I'll rather keep it as a positive image, and to the world too.

After the movie, we had dinner at Ajisen Plaza Singapora, before heading nearby to cam whore together. We wanted to have fish n co. instead, but the queue is simply too long to sustain our dying hunger (Ok maybe not that overwhelming). Still, I enjoy their company together. Best friends really make my day!

And with that I end this post.

I'm glad that I chose my own path, my true friends. Friends may not be there for you all the time, but they'll not neglect to keeping in touch and sustain the friendship.
Friends may not be in contact with you all the time, but they'll put in the effort to keep in contact. Wells, HAVE YOU done your part?

2008-08-29T10:47:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Me, Harpreet and Joyin back in Northview

Time is playing tricks with me again. I seemed to have been transported back into time, back into the past. Saw lots of people back in Northview today, and I realised, how much I've missed. Time is playing tricks once again, as I'm going to prepare myself going back to States, back to my past.

Somehow, the idea freaks me out.

Thoughts aside, I met quite a number of people back in school today, and especially Joyin and Harpreet, who've given me quite a laugh at reminding myself how childish we've been last time. The girls are all grown up though, all cute and everything, ready to take on the world. =) Seeing Joyin reminds me of them back in secondary 1 somehow =)

Kinda Emoing right now, as I'm facing so much crisis right now, all by MYSELF this time.

Rather, thoughts of going back to US has made me all numb and wobbly this time. I know this is for the best, but somehow, I've got a real bad feeling that I can't put it down this time.

In the face of adversity, would you remain jubilant?

Is this my fate?

Most importantly, most undeniably, is it my destiny?

.....and is she my destiny?

Dreams are getting clearer. Visions are turning physical. Feelings are getting stronger. Each heartbeat creates a whole new different rhythm to the beat of my life. Yet somehow, I feel lost. Personally, I feel like the same person just before I entered a relationship with my previous girl.

How I hate this turn out now. How I hate the way fate giggles at me, when I'm facing the same situation for the second time in my life.

I've so much to vent it out, to turn berserk on my blog, but I can't. Some things are better left unknown to people out there, especially when so many people could be reading my blog. Who knows, including her.

If I can turn into a month, I'll be January.

The start of everyday will be a brand new day. Before entering into that new year ahead, everyone will be singing auld lang syne to one another. Forgiveness are flooding into everyone's heart. Tears of emotions are shed. Everyone will be looking forward to January, looking forward to you, to bring forth a new start, a new life.

Oh and I'm falling sick. I'm feeling real lousy now, but I just gotta blog. I just gotta release myself to feel better from the outpouring emotions I'm experiencing. Pardon me, but as I'm typing now, I'm lost, and I've no Idea what I'm saying. But whatever I've said, its the truth and nothing but truthfulness.

Anyways, updates as promised.

RSAF ADOC COC Parade 280708

ADOC Commander is finally leaving his term of duty, so we had a parade held just to send him off. Its rather significant to me, as I sacrificed my birthday to be back in squadron for the training. Sucks, but its worth it.

Photos taken before and after the parade. And yes, GOH guys will always love to cam whore. Think the camera almost died taking so many photos of us. Next, the photos from the actual parade itself. Spot me =)

Overall, I guess everyone enjoyed themselves even though the training is tough, and everything is very demanding. Even though the time catered for us to train is very tight, Us specs still managed to have some fun together in the Uniform. The once-in-a-lifetime uniform.

Kays I'm getting sicker by the minute. Shall stop ranting here. Thanks for listening to my ranting again =) Kind of personal post today. Would appreciate lots if everything said here will stay in the blog and not spread out to reality.

2008-08-27T03:50:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Me and Karen =) Beautiful nightshot background together

And as usual, I'm here rushing to post another entry on blog, but not for long. Really. Going to ORD real soon, and I can almost smell it. The freedom.

Ok, the reason why I just want to post even though I'm so so busy these few weeks, is because I've some news to bring to everyone. Of course not forgetting that I am going to put the extra effort to make sure that my readers will be kept entertained by my blog. Really short post, though a longer one will be coming up soon. Even though I've still not decided if I should share this news with everyone, I've indeed left everything to fate.

Indeed, my life is so unplanned because of my fate, to whether I'll be staying in Singapore for the next 2 years, or I'll be going back to USA to study. After being in Singapore for so long, more than 2 years to be more specific, I've come to treasure and adaptable to Singapore's culture, and the way of life. On this note, I've finally gotten a confirmation from my dad, and the final reply I've gotten is.....

I am GOING back to USA for studies.

Somehow, this news does not cheer me up as it did 2 years back. Instead, I'm feeling a little lost right now, since I've forgotten most of what I've studied back in the States. So now, I've to sort out everything to prepare and brace myself for hardcore studying in University of Arizona.

A dream come true? Finally?

No. Not really. I've grown attached to so many things in Singapore, a few really really great friends, and perhaps even attached emotionally to someone.

I'll keep updating on this topic, so stay tuned. Ok, just before I start leaving home for camp in 10minutes time, Something that I've made for everyone to look forward to on my next post. Guys, Ladies, a synopsis to the upcoming post:

2008-08-22T10:56:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Taken during clement's nephew birthday. I'm obviously sunburned.

Lethargic these few days, plus exhaustion? I'm finally back to update, though it took awhile. Sorry guys! I've been sleeping around 5 hours a day for the past week, with tons of commitment thanks to the RSAF day parade that I'm involved in. Argh I hate that ugly tanline on my face. Can't face reality and the world anymore with it hanging around and threatening to stay even longer with more parades coming up.

Alright first up, lets just say that I'm dissatisfied with how my diet is working out. I'm not been running due to tiredness, but I still managed to gym after work. I'm rather amused by my body, really. Since after BMT, I've gained back about 8kg, about the same weight when I was in the states. However, I look totally different! Much thinner and fitter according to many people. One of my operators actually asked: Sergeant, you don't look fat what. You look so fit. How many pull ups can you do? 20 or 30?

OH..MY..GOD..

I think I can't even do 10 now, let alone 30. But surprisingly, my upper body still look so buffed even though I seldom gym. I guess some guys are born this way? That no matter how they eat and train effortlessly, the chest will always be bigger than the rest of the body?

Another operator of mine asked: Sergeant, how come you're the only spec that is still so enthu about fitness and running? I don't see the rest of them doing anything.

Guess that question answers all thoughts on how air force life is becoming as we become senior specialist eh? =D Ok enough of my Oh-so-fat-and-yet-so-fit pet talks. Never mind. I'll commit myself to more sports and fitness.

Oh and I've an announcement to make:

I've just booked myself for TAIWAN TRIP!!!!

Unbelievable. And I'm going alone with clement only. 2 wanderers in Taipei, doing anything we want without limits for 1 week. How cool is that? I'll be going to taipei 101, ximending for food, food and more food; And I'll be shopping till we drop, literally. =D Anyone has more suggestions on tour around that place? Do let me know as I'm still planning everyone on my own. Free and easy trip. How cool.

Birthday Chalet, 19-20 July 2008

And yes, I've finally finished up all my slidepix for this post, though it took a little long on my part. Again, better than never. Well I guess the chalet was a success afterall, as it is mainly a time for people I know to gather and spend time communicating with one another. Pictures tells a thousand words, paints a thousand images, so I shall leave it to this slidepix to explain everything for me.

As you can see, most of my invited friends flew overhead in aeroplanes, thus explaining the ludicrous number of friends of mine who turned up. However, thanks to N184 who came after church service, they managed to finish my food still. Thanks guys for coming!

Oh oh...did I tell everyone that me and my dad's birthday is 1 day apart? his on the 20 July, mine on the 21 July. Its really fun I guess to have someone to celebrate birthdays together. I'm thankful for that.

And something kinda happened to Yeeling while she came finding for the exact location of my chalet. The taxi uncle dropped her at the wrong venue thus she got lost. Now imagine a lady, and to say a gorgeous lady alone with trees and more trees surrounding her. I got worried, so I ran all the way out looking for her with my tummy filled with liquers, leaving my birthday cake half cut. Thankfully I found her, and thats why I spent more time cam-whoring with her after that to cheer her up. (I think some people got the wrong idea in the process because of me spending more time with her) But I'm glad that shes fine in the end.

Thankfully, I've got Meilin who spent her night around at the chalet. We kinda got bored, so took loads of pictures (And some really spastic ones too, like the one with me acting retard). Guess what she made me wake up in the morning to buy breakfast for her from macdonald. Ladies. Sigh...lol

Overall, I really thankful for all these memories that will be forever kept with me. Even though I had to return to camp for parade on my actual birthday, Its still worth it celebrating over the weekends.

Some final thoughts before I end.. I'm so confused. Confusion about my feelings. constant indecisiveness to my future. I don't know what I want. Or rather, if I can actually step out of the shadow from my past. Past life, past relationship. Memories...are they to be kept only in solitude, without any chance of redemption? It hurts; really hurts. I can't step out of it, neither can I step back in it. I can't go forth, neither can I go back. Trapped within my past, hinged between my present and future.

2008-08-16T10:33:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Me & Yeeling During My Birthday Chalet =P

Backdating entry...but still finally updated something about my life!

ECP Outing, 13/07/08

Finally, met up with Priscilla to tag along down to ECP to keep fit and exercise. For this outing, the gang comprises of

Priscilla, Clement and I actually managed to take some time to meet up just for cycling and rollerblading. The weather was fine, and the location was wonderful except for some minor problem. We actually went down to have fun together on the triathlon day. Now there are pros and cons, and we did get to see lots of cute chicks, and lots of interesting view such as the sandcastle in my slidepixs. However, it really sucked for me because I was on a skate, and the main route was sealed off for the athletes. Thus we had to take the uneven road, covered with sand, mud and soil. Kinda hinders our movement and dampen our moods a little. But luckily the thunderstorm came down just as when we about to finish our session. At least this trip was not wasted.

After the rain stopped pouring, we proceed to downtown east where I had to settle some stuff for my birthday chalet. We had our lunch there before I drove everyone down to Bugis to shop around. Even though it's a simple activity that everyone has done it at least once in awhile, we still had fun shopping and joking. Oh and Clement bought a new bag that cost around 50 bucks. The hilarious part was that we walked out of the shop without paying, before realising that we had just 'stole' something. It was fun though. =) We had dinner at pasta mania after that, before going back home.

My apologies. I'm feeling really lethargic and goggy right now, as I've lacked of sleep for the past week while kinda enjoying life. My post sounded abit boring right now, but that's that. I'm tired and I want to sleep. I've so much thoughts and emotions, but all I want right now is a good night's sleep. So well, gotta end off here.

PS: Might be selling my car. Anyone's interested can just PM me.

2008-08-13T06:39:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Me and Karen, Ice-Skating

Wordy, substantial post today.

Even though I've promised a neat, gushy treat of slidepixs featuring all that is happening in my life to keep readers entertained, I've lots of emotions and thoughts going through me right now. I guess I've to flood my discomfort onto this blog to keep me saint.

But first, before I begin pouring myself into this post, I've some real issues to deal with not only myself, but to most of the people in this world. This is not just some post to deal with people like me, but rather, to provide some advice from my experience. Okay, so here we go...

GUIDE

Have you ever commit yourself to losing weight, yet somehow during the process, lost that passion you once had?

And I'm very sure that most of you, be it NSFs like me, or working adults who're fighting a losing battle with 'laziness', to students who've been mugging their mind away. Take note that I'm not a specialist who knows how to deal with such issues, but just someone who've always hung on the verge of giving up for a long long time.

If you think back, there's always a period of your life when you're so focused on losing weight. Somehow along the road to getting trim and fit, that passion was lost, and you gained back all the fats that you've lost. Frustration, discontent, dismal sets in, and then the truth hits you: Losing and gaining weight is a cycle of pattern. No matter how you lose the pounds, you're sure to gain it back someday. Then the reality sets in: Give up on losing weight, or even resort to impractical methods like pills and surgery.

Sounds familiar?

Now even though it might not be possible to stick to the passion you once had on losing and keeping the fats away, I've a simple way of reminding yourself on that passion, and perhaps even help in guiding you back on track of what you desire. My method? Get a pen and paper, and write this in:

Your Name:
Goal: To lose XXkg and stay below XXkg
Goal Set In: XXXX08

Remember: Make a simple yet realistic goal, like losing 3kg by 2 months, 5kg by 5 months, until you come to a point where you know you can MAINTAIN that weight. Sounds fool-proof and simple, as though you've heard of this millions of times? Not just yet. Leave a space and write this in:

3 Reasons why you've to lose weight/ keep the fats away:

Now this statement might even sound childish, but remember, even the most simplest solution could be the answer to the most complicating problem. Now when I say reasons, dun put things like, I want to look good, or I want to see my 6 abs (for guys). Yes it does sound logical enough, but it is not motivating after awhile when you hit the reality point and realise that you're going in a cycle. Instead if possible, aim for a future point in your life where u need to participate in etc. running, marathon. Not convincing enough, but still its a goal. The best motivation thats possible is when you have someone you like in mind. Like: I want to lose the weight so that I look good standing beside him/her. For students, you can have something like losing weight will keep you disciplined and focused on your school work and exams. Whatever it is, write 3 things that will motivate you for a long time, and things that has the strongest personal attachment(s) to you.

Last but not least, include a table below that, and include columns that can record the date, place of exercise, distance, time, kcal lost. Start exercising from something small and simple, like running in gym for 2km for the fist 5 times before proceeding to 2.4km and so on. Make a note to exercise a certain number of times per week to achieve your goals.

Paste this paper in front of your mirror, and start recording! The more you exercise, the more you record, and the more satisfying you'll find after awhile. Trust yourself, and to maintain that passion. Now this is just a guide I wrote, and its not guaranteed to work if you don't have the determination. But still, it all depends on whether you can follow your plan. It will be tough, but not tough to pull you down.

Ok so back to my personal space on my blog. I've been feel a surge of mixed feelings lately, especially these few days. Sometimes I know what I want, sometimes I don't. For a moment during last 2 days, I thought my fate has been sealed, with the news that my dad broke out to me, that we're staying in Spore for the next 2 years. Inexplicably , emptiness filled me from no where. My future seems so tough, so unplanned. All of a sudden, I seemed to have no plans for my future. I've no institute to look forward to, no plans on what I want to work as. I've been avoiding commitment in Spore, be it working partnership or being in relationship. Somehow, my life is just not stable enough to be committed, thus I decided to be separable. When my dad told me the news that we're still staying, I had a sudden tendency to scream into space, an unexplainable feeling of making the wrong choice to avoidance for the last 2 years after I came back from US. Everything just seemed so wrong. I've even ran away from my feelings just so that I'll not hurt the heart of another girl. So silly, yet so noble.

Now that I'm beginning to adjust to the fact that I can finally do the things that I should've done a long time ago, my dad had to come in and tell me another news. A news so confused me all over again. His posting has suddenly taken a turn, and now, hes still uncertain whether he will be posted back. Somehow, I feel like I'm back to a square one. I've lost my direction once again. Only uncertainties remained.

Goodness. I'm so so lost once again. No confirmation, no resolution, no decision. Just hope that I've enough strength to carry on waiting, and that time is not going too fast to mingle with my choices in the end.

And I know, that I've to make some decisions, FAST.

2008-08-10T10:44:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Me taken during outing with Yeeling

Time and tide waits for no men. The moment's past, it'll never return...

This sentence just came upon me as a reflection on how little precious time I have, after reading Eileen Toh's blog. The time states on her blog where a picture was taken on 08/08/08 at 0808.08am. Time stood still just for that split second, yet it reflected how precious time seemed only after you've missed it.

Isn't life the same way?

Speaking of which, I've never felt so insecure for a long time. Tomorrow's D day. It'll be the day where my life takes another turning point. Will I stay, or will I leave?

Treasure me before regrets translate in.

I'm really exhausted from mental blows. Emotional blows dealt with upon me. Just when I'm starting to love again, I might never had the chance to present it. Is this a cruel reality God is playing with me?

I really can't lose you. I just started falling in love all over again with you.. Truely, you're too precious to me, though I haven't express it. Should I stay or should I go? 2 years is a long time. Who knows, you might have gone with someone else, leaving me in the latch. Taking a piece of me that desires to love you only. Should I stay for destiny, or should I go for a planned life?

I'm really really exhausted.

And I'm sorry. My outing pictures and post will be up the next time. But for now, thanks for listening to my rantings.

2008-08-09T05:42:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

My Pride. My Honor.

Guys, it's going to be a long post today. Much longer than usual (And I just love myself looking so 'cool' up there). But before I start,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!

Like I said, this will be a long post, with lots of backdating of the events that has occurred in my life for the past 2 months. First, Priscilla finally turned 21 on...

Priscilla's Birthday, 28/05/08

And yups, though I didn't take alot of photo on her Birthday, we did have fun together, gathering at her house for a party, playing mahjong, and hanging out. Since it's her 21st birthday (finally!) I drove them out after her party around 10pm to just hang and chill out. Hey, it's really something as I guess this is the first time Priscilla can go home after midnight. Right? Usually she gotta reach home before 10pm, so this is really once in a blue moon thing to see her out with us so late.

Anyways, after her birthday celebration, the next main event that came around was the PC show. Since I needed to get a few items, Went down with clement and his friend to look around.

Really crazy? I bought the bluetooth mouse for myself, and the printer. Its really worth it. And I'm still crazy over my bluetooth mouse. Also bought an MP3 player for my mum as a birthday present from me, and 2 of the camera set for my dad. From just that one day of shopping spree, I spent like almost $800. Lol I seriously haven't done such madness for awhile now, since the time when I was in US during their independence day. Surprisingly, I did that at bestbuy, an electronic megastore too. Are guys always crazy over electronic sales? Haha

Vina's Farewell Dinner, 21/06/08

Vina has flew over to Monash University for studies, and it took me until now to upload a post for our farewell dinner. So sorry about that girl, but I've been procrastinating. Still, I finally uploaded our pictures right?

Priscilla, Me and Lydia met up with Vina for our last final outing together before she leaves Singapore for Australia for 2 years. Clement joined us after our dinner, which we had lots of fun at Shokudo in Raffles City. David didn't bothered joining us as he started giving attitude problem to everyone, which at least I'll not do that to a friend who's leaving Singapore for 2 years.

Anyways just to elaborate on the dining at Raffles City's Shokudo, it has a nice dining decorated like Singapore's hawker style, except that it's air-conditioned. It not only sells Japanese food as suggested by the name, but it also dishes out western style food, pizza and even pasta. Its affordable, nice and most importantly, we can cam-whore with nice backgrounds everywhere inside.

Once clement joined us, we decided to abort our plan for bowling and pool. Instead, we walked to suntec city for starbucks. Sat down, chit chat and just let the time slips through our fingers. Oh and we cam-whored like never before.

As the day comes to an end, we made a short video together with our main character of the night, wishing her well and our very best wishes before we meet again in 2 years time. However, we didn't get the correct amostphere that we wanted, and the video turned out VERY hilarious. Clement is so shy lol.

Still, we had a wonderful time together. See you again Vina. Oh and, "I'll be back too" =D

Anyway just before I end off this post, I'm glad to say that 4 MONTHS TO ORD! And I don't need to fake it. Nights out everyday for 7 months. Now thats what I call life.
Anyway I'm gonna head down to wild wild wet with friends tomorrow. Can't wait. And of course, I can't wait to meet Karen on Monday for a fun-filled day together with her. More photos to be coming to this blog. Stay tuned!

Coming up: ECP Outing with gang, plus the long awaited 21st birthday chalet and the love I've received.

2008-08-04T05:50:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

A picture of Me and Evelyn during my chalet, as promised =)

As usual, time always seemed to be ahead of me. Good news though: Gonna ORD real soon, and I don't need to pretend that I'm ORDing or ORDed. Enjoying life now, clear leave, clear off, and nights out everyday without liberty. Enjoying this life now, much better than many people who're still serving NS.

The past weekend has been my most fruitful up to date. For the first time, I've been out all the time from Friday till Sunday. Went to harry's at Esplanade for martinis. Drank and took lots of pictures, and what's more, It's a member's event so all the martinis are free flow and cost nothing. Indulgence in life indeed.

This may be a more boring post up till now, as I've been busy with so many things that I didn't have much time to complete my slidepix designs. But I promise for my designs, more are to come...

Everything aside though, I've been feeling lethargic these days. Be frank, the spirit of confusion has re-entered my life. So much directions, confusions revolving amongst my thoughts. There're things that shouldn't be said, stuffs that couldn't be regurgitated. Yet, I am thankful for the true friends I have, the ones who've expressed themselves outwardly that made me feel important in their life.

A simple thought though: Life is a series of adventures, that carries up to the peak and down the dips like a vulture. My adventure has just began, and I don't ever want to stop.

Possible?

"I realised how important you are in my life. How things have drifted apart, ever since the times when we're still in that school. Yet again, fate seems to be against my every decisions; Every time I stepped back into your life; Every time we had a simple conversation in months, It makes me fall in love with you all over again. I'm so confused. Why, I've not seen you for awhile now, yet I have that longing to be in your life, a longing to stay in your life. I wonder: Is it possible to be a part of your life, all over again?"

I'm confused

2008-07-30T01:39:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Last Picture with my Beloved FCE Operators. Happy ORD Guys!

So yesterday I went for my platoon's ORD chalet. Time flies unbelievably fast for me, both good as well as unproductive times. Lots of fun at the chalet. Unbelievably LONG speech by everyone. =)

Anyway guys, to my FCE crews who've gone through so much together, just want to express a Big thanks. Without you guys, I wouldn't have grown to be so confident doing my job as your FCE Detachment Commander. All the times with you all will be missed as I start a torturous life readjusting to the new operators. Ann Aik, Yap Meng, Kenneth, Ivan, Alvin, Qing Yan and Jeremy, Thank you all and happy ORD!

Alrights for those who've dropped by to my blog for the chalet pictures, just drop me an email and I'll return with the links to get all the pictures. For the password to it, you can ask Luman or Chang Hong as I've told them already. =) Enjoy the pictures.

Alright, back to personal life, I wanna apologize that I've been procrastinating. So after such a long time, My outing with my pals for clement's birthday celebration is finally done up. Same here, ask me directly for the password to download all the pictures =)

Birthday Celebration @ Indulgez, 03/05/2008

The usual gang went down to Indulgez, after some searching for a perfect location for a party. I mean, I've lost touch with these pals for 2 years since the time I went to US for studies, so for every opportunity, I'll grasp onto it to make it up to them. So here we arrive at...Indulgez!

We ordered loads and loads of food, some of the world's most delicious! It was my first time in heavenly bliss surrounded by food that simply melts the heart. So as usual, I took the pictures of the food with my camera...

Damn tempting right? Hahas. All the pictures are taken and edited by me. Please, NO STEALING.

And after that, we went for a short walk around Bugis area, before deciding to go for pool and billards at Yishun Safra. Of course, how can we miss the cam-whoring sessions?

Noticed how happy clement is with his new sleeveless jacket we got him? =) Even though it took so long for me to touch up all the pictures, still, Happy Birthday Buddy! Hope you've enjoyed yourself during that period!

P.S. More post on my life will be coming soon. Too many to put into a single post.

2008-07-27T03:03:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

GOH: Me in No.1 Uniform for Chief of Air Force Inspection.

Lots of thoughts lately. Undeniable fact that I've started, once again, moving in my life. In a way, I'm feeling more occupied than ever before. Some random notes I reflected few days back in camp, unable to sleep:

...Predicament is unlikely to be controlled by circumstance, even though there may be strong linkage between the two...

...What dominates friendship, and what fuels the propellant of relationship? Perhaps the similarity between both may be a fraction away, bounded by a simple, thin boundry of a glass fused mirror....

...Tell me, the reflections that rebounced onto me. Does it revamped my emotions, or am I just, undeniably, one who's bonded to forever shut-off?...

I WONDER...

I knows, I'm still working on all the events that have taken place last few months. I've just too many pictures to work on and redesign. Gimme more time alright?

Should I just turn my slidepix blog into a picture blog, where it'll blend into the millions of blog full of pictures? Should I continue doing slidepix that stands out from the rest of the world?

Guys help me here. Tell me if I should. I'm tired if designing so much and no one seems to bother about it.

Perhaps, just perhaps, I'll go back to wooooooooooooordy posts...

hic- HELP here... tag for opinions. NO CONDEMNATION.

2008-07-22T05:50:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

A random picture of our last outing together before Vina flies off to Australia for University.

Yups its 1 day after my birthday. Getting Old! Thanks to those who came, for I really enjoyed it. Some simply thoughts from the chalet, for I've seen true friends who've captivated my trust; Friends whom I can ensure that they'll be there for me. Thanks to those who care! I apologize for not been a good host though, especially to Yeeling (but I'm really thankful that u came still =)).

Ok everything aside. I had a wonderful birthday yesterday too, going back to camp for parade, more parade. Parade in the sun, then in the rain. I've gotten a wonderful present today too: A parking ticket. Thanks Singapore for the birthday present. lol. Damn. Alrights the next post will be a super long post, on all that is going on in my life for the last few months. Stay tuned.

2008-07-13T23:39:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

Outing @ ECP With Clement and Priscilla

Hellos all! As everyone knows by now, I'll be having my birthday party at downtown east next week. =) However, I've gotten replies from a few of my friends to what I want for my birthday. I mean, I can't possibly point at all the stuffs that caught my attention, and beg for a gift exactly the same right? So for everyone to know what I'm 'lacking', here's my list that I've compiled that suits my style and taste:

Polo Tees - colored combination that really attracts people. Abercrombie cheers me up loads, but Singapore doesn't sell =( Oh but the brown and white striped shirt below caught my attention. White and Brown, Pink and White...Broad stripes and thin stripes are alright with me.
Long sleeve shirts - As shown below. The red and black is a little plain, but it caught my attention and I bought that last week =) I also happen to really like love sleeve shirt with designs at the shoulder, back neck and/or right and left ends of the sleeve.
Vest - I'm lacking of this. Black or brown vest should be nice. Cloth or leather is fine. Design wise, I like this to be more outspoken rather than being plain and simple (waiter type).
Shoes - I got the one shown below pretty cheap, and yeah that rounds up to what my style is in terms of color and design.
Rings - Metallic ring, Black glossy, Designs are alright as long as its not overdone (By that I mean rings that has HUGE skull or the empress style) Crosses are alright with me.
Oh Belts. Any design is alright with me. Not too much bling blings. Buckles too huge are not my type. Black, brown, white are better choices. And of course, I love white and brown together =D.
Jeans - Fashion-wise is a big plus for jeans as I cant take plain jeans. Dark blue is my style. Holes and torns are ok with me, but minimal is preferred.
Sports wear - NUM! But of course brand is not as important as the designs.
Wallet - More card compartment for me. I've too many =D. Coins compartment is preferred.

I'm sure everyone should know my fav color by now. White, Black, BROWN. But seriously, I wear anything that has great color combination, and also wonderful designs. Most importantly, its something that everyone can agree that its a wonderful piece of art =)

Alright seriously I can't wait for next week to come. Get rid of an exercise in my squadron before going to party. Definitely I'll be looking forward to everyone. That is, of course my main priority: Meet up with friends after such a long time. Below is something that I've put together after going shopping at BHG and bugis street, as well as bugis center. Enjoy!

2008-07-06T05:48:00.000-07:00

Taking time to bring something into succession is really tough, even little things like updating blogs. It seemed like a task, yet its ultimately enjoyable. However, let me once again highlight that THIS IS MY BLOG and I'll say anything that I want, anything that I wanna highlight about MY life. Once again, let me remind the ignorant fools who tries helplessly to tarnish me even to the extent of rubbing into my life journal will ultimately harm themselves, as I've proved that I can be mean if I want to. I know that this is a journal that everyone in the world can read (and might even help them one way or another) but there is no need to counter my resonance of my thinking and perseverance on any single topic that I touch on. That aside, let me highlight what I've done over this weekend as quickly as I can (I'm once again short of time). Something that I've done better and making full use of my life rather than being in city harvest church and getting ridiculous harsh comments by fools who've got nothing better to do than to screw around with me, thinking that they're God himself. Btw passerby, I was regaining back my trust and myself to believe until you came along and destroyed it all. Not blaming you. Just want you to know what you've done.

So well I was on guard duty until yesterday morning. As the system just upgraded to a heightened secure state, the schedule got messed up, and I got pissed doing duty at preposterous intervals. Yet somehow at the end of my duty tour as the guard commander, I managed to laugh and crack jokes with my guys as we walked back to squadron, like we've conquered a war or something. I guess I can say that since its getting tougher to be the guard commander there.

So anyway, yesterday was Tim's birthday party. He held it at bernie's, a pub located just opposite changi prison. It was so deserted and quiet, yet a surprising number of people turn up for his celebration. Especially so as there was a number of young ladies who knew Tim. Well, I guess its the first time I've been to a pub. Crazy I guess, and Tim really changed alot. He drank like 10+ bottles of beer, smoke and has tatoos since he entered navy. I was simply stunned at the way he holds his liqueur, as I drank really little (more than 1 bottle of course) but I'll not highlight how many I had, and I was getting high~ =) Only 3 of my other BMT buddies went to his party, and after we drank and eat until the pub had to close, everyone decided to go the Changi village for second round. It was interesting seeing how life is after 12am at the area. There was still alot of people having supper whilst we sat down to chat. And we saw 'HE' wearing a mini skirt. OMG I didn't think I'll see one but I did. HE was hot though lol. Reagon sent us all home after that, in his self-inducted lousy Toyota Camry 2007. I did try asking him to give me though since its lousy to him. LOL.

PS: I'll post the slidepix (The name I gave for the .gif I manufactured) another time. I'm really really short of time sorries. Enjoying my life too much =D

Updated

So anyway after last night of intoxicating, which knocked me out literally and gave me such a good night sleep I haven't had for a long time, I woke up near lunch time and decided to go shopping. Yeah you heard me. SHOPPING. Thanks to my mum, who gave me the $100 dollar gift card as shown below. Thus I can go down with clement to bugis junction. We really shopped everywhere since I've got 100 bucks to spend on anything I want to. I bought a leather, hip hop shoe that looks darn cool, and a pierre cardin shirt at less than half its original price. And whats more, its FREE to me. =D happy with my catch today.

Something interesting happen to me soon when I was about to pay for my goods at the cashier. There was this young lady, slightly younger than me who's working at BHG pierre cardin section, was just standing around promoting the shirts. After I tried on the shirt, while other customers were paying for their catch, I waited for my turn. When it came to me, the guy at the cashier scanned my shoes and, before he could get hold of the next item, the lady came in front of me and held it to let the guy scan the barcode. It was awkward to me as I said thanks to her, as the guy was looking at me and her, and back to me again as though I know her personally. Oh wells, she cute though. Nvm I'll be going back again next week with 'clement' as the excuse.

Oh and I do realised that my english is getting atrocious. It wasn't like that before. Perhaps its army that really pulls away people from what they were before. Pardon me for the english. I know it doesn't run at times. I'll work on it.

PS: Slidepix will be updated again when I've the time. But trust me, I enjoyed my weekend. =D

Updated

As everyone can see, all the creations of slidepixs are my own, and mine only. Thats only fair since I was the one who created everything, from the pictures to the editing, attributing to the many hours I spent touching up on my product. I'm extremely exhilarated that I could create such magnificent showcase. =)

Anyways, this will be the end of this post. More coming up soon, especially my birthday chalet party! Stay tuned... As a few of my friends have asked me what I want for my birthday. I'll do up something. I promise.

2008-06-30T05:57:00.000-07:00

REVIEWS

While I was on guard at PLAB last week, one of my operator who brought his PSP over as entertainment shared a serial drama with us. At first glance, the drama seemed nothing much of a bore to me. (I seldom get hooked onto dramas and movies) But as the show progresses, I was getting engrossed into the plot of events that was happening to the actor in the show. After the first episode, I was literally hooked onto it, hungry for more of the twist of events that was happening in the drama itself. Awhile later, I learnt of the title of this japanese drama: Ryokiteki na Kanojo (My Sassy Girl in english)

Familiar? Yups thats the guy from SMAP. This drama captured my attention not because of the actors, but its the plot that makes it worthwhile to watch. Most dramas nowadays were too emotional or not captivating enough for fans, but beware of this show. Even though the atmosphere may be building up to a certain euphoria level, the plot of the show may kill that captivating scene and send the audience crashing all the way down with a split second. This show is more of entertainment value than being a beautiful love story. Indeed, this is a show that I've find really funny since I last watched Kongfu Panda. For those of you who wants to find this show to watch, I wouldn't suggest checking online sites simply because I've tried and not many places have it. Wells, think of your own means if you're really interested.

As I got home last weekend, I thought of the title once again "My Sassy Girl". Somehow it seemed all so familiar, like I've heard of it many times before. I decided to check online and found out that the show was actually from a replica from a korean movie from 2001, known as My Sassy Girl too.

However this time, it is a movie. Even though its a show from 2001, I decided to watch it from online site. Since the japanese version had brought me so much entertainment, creating the unforgettable scenes that made me laugh heartily, I thought that this movie will be the same as the japanese version was inspired by this korean movie. Boy, I was wrong. Be it an old film and everything, it was a truely touching love plot that had me captivated for hours somehow. This show is about how a guy met this girl in the subway and how they got to know each other in the most impossible ways. How this guy did all the foolish stuff, giving in to this girl anyway even if he might feel painful or being humiliated in public. Its about how a destined couple leaving their relationship up to fate, and being connected back together in the most impossible way. A simple, yet heartfelt moments where shows ain't just shows anymore. After that, I found out that this movie was based on a couple's true story. Somehow, it inspired me too.

I realised that the american version of this film is coming up too this year, but I've no idea how well it'll hold against the japanese and especially korean version. Old films being pure, simple and sweet. Something that lingers among these old shows even though it might've been forgotten by the audience that it ever existed.

Last but not least before ending this post, I want to do up my thoughts and reviews on a book not known by many people, yet its contents have such domination to stir me up from my negative view on God. Guys, I give you

I trust that not many people have heard of this guy, or even heard of this book. This is a narration by Belinda Wee, a relative of Thaddeous Cheong. Now you may ask me, how a simply book thats written for the public can have the authority to change my views and decisions with God. First if you do not know, Thaddeous was what all parents would hope for. Talented in sports, mannerism, studies, and most of all, commitment which he could never have given without FAITH in God. My mum bought this book and wells, I brought it for my guard duty yesterday to keep me entertained. However, what I've gotten out from it is more than what I could've asked for. A true, real life testimony of FAITH. He died living out his dream, running a race that brings him straight to heaven to be reunited with God.

I've been looking for a long time to what faith is about, how my members in N184 have done anything out by faith. Yet, I've seen the ugly side from them. From even the smallest unhappiness that surfaces out of topics that are just pure lethargic, to how faith was mis-interpreted to God. Producing a shadow that covers his true identity with Faith. How such gift by God was misused to produce a face he never had, to someone he loves. So much so I've had some problem with the fact understanding how Christian Faith is the most powerful tool we individuals have. Think of it. Why would people be constantly leaving the same group if they feel loved? Theres only a simple epilogue

Faith in them has diminished simply from their attitude of misappropriating Faith in their own Christian face. Yet from one simple yet innocent book to celebrate the way a guy lived his life and how he've died living his dream, I've understood what TRUE faith means. Most often than never, it always happen when tragedy struck.

This book is about how a 17 year old guy lived a life of following God's plan and sticking on track. Its about how his every gesture, his every attitude towards life of heavy commitment made him stood out, even though he did it humbly before God and never once told of what he've done for others. Last of all, yes he's a catholic. Such a Faith by his family when he's gone, they trust by FAITH that he've returned to the Father.

I'm getting stagnant from all this typing, so I guess I'll end off here. In short, this is a book celebrating a boy's life, yet the amount of Faith shown in the book by all his family and relatives when he passed on were impressive. So much so that it moved me. How Faith was comforting in such heart wrenching moments when they lost someone they dearly loved; to how Faith was so misappropriated in the face of current reality, in cell group, to what people wants rather than what people needs. I'll stop here. Think for a moment.

Are you really that faithful towards God, or has God lost that faith in you.

Credits:

Korean My Sassy Girl- http://www.hancinema.net/korean_movie_My_Sassy_Girl.php

Japanese My Sassy Girl- http://kinkikids.wordpress.com/2008/03/31/08-spring-drama-full-list/

Running the FULL Distance by Belinda Wee (book)

2008-06-25T07:34:00.000-07:00

HIGH TEA AT HOTEL RENDEZVOUS, 230308

I knows, it took so darn long for me just to post this, but wells at that time I was tired of blogging, least posting up photos. So yeah, after much anticipation and procrastination, Yeeling finally got to meet me up for high tea before proceeding for a movie (I think).

Note: I'm kinda rushing to type this and book in soon, so I might update this part of the entry when I book out again.

Don't get me wrongly. Shes a really really great friend who make it a point to meet up with her friend despite being so busy with life and everything. Plus, we've been friends since secondary school, ever since I started teaching her A maths then.

There was this promotion by MINDEF (1 for 1 high tea) then, and so I thought it'll be a great idea to try this promotion. Its located just beside Plaza Singapura, with a huge lettering on top of the building just after the ERP gantry that reads ' HOTEL RENDEZVOUS'. Thanks to the promotion, the food was fantastic at a really great deal. Its cheap and good, with us craving for more even though we've had like 6 rounds of food. =D

Updated: Okies finally booked out of camp to finish up on this post. Anyways, as seen from the slideshow I created, the food is really really delicious =) We had this really crazy jumbo serving which made us suffer from indigestion, yet we clinged on to more plates which were disappearing fast ( Singaporeans. pfft) Guess what I saw? everyone piling seafood onto plates which were ridiculous never meant for overloads. But despite all these, we managed to have a great time too. We made loads of noise and created mess everywhere, much to the frownings of some diners. (Look at the man behind one of the photo. Hes FROWNNINGG.) lol.

Anyways after the sumptuous lunch we had, we went for a movie at cineleisure. Wells I guess time passes too quickly at times. I can't even remember what exactly we did after that lol. Wells Ima miss loads of these moments after I go back to US. (And thats exactly why I'm posting blog as much as I can.) Anyways, hopefully there'll be more of such outings yea haha. My time in Singapore is not long anymore.

2008-06-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

Okokokok I PROMISE...

Updates will be REAL soon =) Stay tuned

Another Week

2008-05-31T06:52:00.000-07:00

A new life = A new start

So, in order to aim for my goals now (which protrudes far and wide, just as the world being larger than life) I'm going to dedicated an itsy bitsy portion of my time to study. Its terrible I tell you, all the physics mathematical manipulation, electrical quantum circuits have to be stipulated within my mind once again. Looking through all those horrendous notes, I cant believe I got A for physics. Impossible.

Oh wells, is there anything impossible in life? Definitely. I proved that equation. Period.

Okays so now that I have a new start, I need a new direction which I'm going to plan all by myself, just like how I did it before I went over to the States. So many choices, but only one of them could fit into my mapping of plans. Where should I go? University of Arizona, University of California, Monash University...The list adds on and never ends.

I just wanna do something that pleases myself. I really dunno what I want now though, or where I wanna go into. Mathematician perhaps? My childhood dream? Thats too hard. A teacher? Engineer? Nopes...

I know what I want

To touch lives through my work. Feeling the sense of acomplishment; Sense of achievement when I know I've done something that pleases people.

Not the kind of 'pleasing for the sake of seeing sacarsm in the work of reality' but the 'pleasing that touches lives and brings out pure joy'

ahh

Thats what makes me happy. So what should I be? Haas. I bet engineers can bring that somehow. But please, don't tag me to invent toys for children. I'll trash you. I will.

I'm lost really. I can't seem to find what really interests me most.

On another note, life has been busy for me, though happier and more fulfilling knowing that I'm trying to change my life now. In fact, life is better than what it used to be. At least I don't get attacks from God anymore(which vivian has kindly pointed out that it usually meant something great is coming) which always happen after I pray and trusting in God. In that case (if theres any) I'll have become some super duper great machine which keeps storing all that 'greatness'.

I'm really enjoying this life WITHOUT any attacks so far.

Mind Set...

2008-05-25T05:06:00.000-07:00

I'm numb. By how futile my life is heading. Guess I've made my choice after what happened. And I'll not regret it. If putting your trust in God wholly and realises how you've been disappointed again and again by 'God', I'll lose it all one day. Wells...

THAT day has come.

no regrets.

Obstreperous I'll be. Unrelenting I'll turn.

Thoughts

2008-05-17T10:17:00.000-07:00

Rights. So I'm back! Its been a hectic month for me so far but, I'm still cycling on this tough journey. Seriously, it dead depressing doing stuffs you're unwilling to commit into, yet being frown upon by every single unlikable person. Maybe its just me. Haas.

Went for a movie after cg with N336 yesterday. Indeed its a wonderful show. Plus I've not done sumthin like that for awhile now, wearing skimpy (err not really) wells more of like market wear to plaza singapora for a show. Great show too, though there was alot of crude jokes, in the maid of honor. Enjoyed it nevertheless.

Alot of things happened lately. Plus the lack of sleep really dreads me on. I've absolutely no idea what I was doing at times. Firstly the outfield sucks. Secondly, guard duty sucks. Thridly, army sucks! Argh but yeahs I'm flowing with it. What happened you ask? Wells take this screnario about some crazy thoughts I have after a girl confessed to me. It didn't get me all excited, though it gave hell lots of confusion inside myself. After awhile, I went all dreamy and having thoughts of the future if we got together, what would have happened to my life...

Coming back from work, smoking a really weird pipe used by my grandpa in the past, wearing a black, huge frame glass and reading some chinese news paper. The weather was perfect. Humid, Sweaty on a retarded sunday.. Ahh thats life.

BAM! *Door Slams*

Ah lao ah! What are you doing ar? Why are you reading that rediculous thing. Didnt I tell you not to read? Its stupid la reading is stupid it will not help u la. Aiya dun need to study also la you so stupid study also no use. Just go work as a constructor like a bangala instead of lazing around here la. U so clever then we wouldnt be staying in this pig den la. Ahaha fit u la actually look like one, smell like one and act like one.

Wha how can u say all these ar. Last time when u came to me I listened to you, comforted you, became your emotional bench and even sacrifice so much just for you. I went against my parents and had a big fight. I chose not to go back to US study because of you. I choose not to follow my destiny with my walk with God, and I left church so that we can be together. After all I've done for you, how can you become so nasty?

Why ar? That time was a mistake lor. I've come to you 'cause ur the only oone who so gong gong can take me in after what happened to me and that guy. Its ur choice to be with me 1 ma so dun blame me can? What happen has happen cannot turn back time.......

*slaps* yeah I've woken up. Life without God, without my church, without my cg is indeed SCARY. Just the thought of all that scares me loads. Guess its just a fact. I'm not ready to commit into a relationship, mentally and emotionally. What I had went through it the past still hurts me alot, like a deep fractured scar within myself. Yes I am afraid to love and be loved anymore. Afraid to lose myself and a girl all over again. It hurts, once is enough to judge that. It even turned me into someone I never knew. Someone who cannot open up myself to anyone, anymore. Finding a gf not from church scares me now.

Sighs

How I wish she knows that I'm in love with HER.

But I cant express out. I'm emotionally trapped.

WOWs

2008-04-22T07:43:00.000-07:00

Todays...wows.
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Went for dinner with family. At sakae sushi. I paid for it with my credit card. Argh! But good luh additional 10% discount. Hahas.
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After that...went to Yu Ren Sheng. Spent more than $300 there. Omg I feel like a rich kid in there. Buying things as though we have loads of money for it. Really. Hahas should see the amount of things we bought there. But sighs. If only those money can be saved up for my lappy, or my studies. That'll be great. Oh wells. Hurts seeing so much money spent within a shop, within a day.
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I need money! I need motivation! I need revitalisation! *mMm is there such a word?* okies I need... REVELATION!
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smiles =)

Hiis

2008-04-19T09:31:00.000-07:00

I realised something...I'll not update this stupid blog unless its a depressing day for me. Ahahas so guess what that means? I'm changing now! Changing to someone who'll not get over emotional! Yeahs good or bad. Anyways its been a great 2 months for me. Very busy. Alot of unhappiness in camp. But still thank God for taking away my burden =)
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Okays and I do realise that my blog is getting woOooOoooordy. Time for change! But gotta wait. Im too busy to upload photos. Hahas. Oh come on...wait just awhile more and photos will be up yeah? Hmms what to update today? Oh yeahs. I realised sumthin about my parents, especially my mum. Its scary because wells, as shes my mum, she knows me best. But sometimes it gets abit freaky. Like when I feel depress and I dont show it, she knows. Or like, if I like someone and doesn't show it out at all and everyone doesn't know, she can still sense it. Like omg NO PRIVACY! Hahas this is in view of what she said a few weeks back, and I was like how in the world does she know when I myself made it so plain normal? Haas oh wells forget it. This is a lame topic.
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Aiyahs sorry luhhs Im really too busy to update. Army life, Im still surviving. Oh plus, my chalet! I got it! Hahas and my dad bless the cost over 300 dollars for the chalet, just for my bd! Thank God for blessings from my parents. Indeed God bless us in times when we need it, in abundance. My mum is blessing me with a new laptop for bd present. I've so much to worry about though in my life still though. But anyways, Its been pretty fine for me lately. Wells wait for updates yea! Coming real soon! Photo slideshow created specially by me! =D

Time For CHANGE!

2008-02-03T04:27:00.000-08:00

Yupps Its time to change this blog skin! Hahas what are you thinking? I realised this skin is getting old.. Hahas so yeah wells hopefully during the new year period I'll find sometime to change it! =) Im joyous now! Hahas dun ask me why I just am. Glad of changes...glad of life! Ok la wells cant believe how fast time flies right? One moment I just came back to Singapore. The next moment I'm in army. Now, I'm waiting for ORD! Hahs. Okies well last week has been fruitful for me. At least I stayed out for 1 week, though I fell sick on wednesday. Anyways, so many weird things happened lately. And today is the weirdest day of all. Right Wanyi? Hhaas =P I was like so...dunno where to hide at that moment for the auntie's misunderstanding.
...
Anyways, yeah well time really does flies. Hmms lately I've so many plans for cg. I guess I'm going to start the plans soon. I really hope everyone will help me yeah? Hahas first of all I think I'm going to start teaching cg members mathematics! Yeahs hahas I think I should get started so that I can refresh my memory before going back to US for my bachelor degree. Okies well I'll blog more when I come back on wednesday for chinese new year. Lets have a really really great new year yeahs? Hahs!

Hey

2008-01-05T21:00:00.000-08:00

New year? WOW can't believe that I've been in army for more than 1 year now. lol. Yeah new year, new resolutions =) I think its time for me to change this blog skin too, but I'm too noob to do so lol. Anyone can help me? =) Help! Okies wells anyways I'm back. Yups even though my christmas holiday was pretty screwed up, but I learnt one thing during that period. That is, I love to run and run n gym! Hahas. So yeas its time to slim down alot alot and get my 6 abs this year before I go back to US. Gotta discipline myself to keep fit. =) Oh yea its almost time to go back and I really cant wait. Hopefully, I'll be there for a long long time.
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Oh also, I realised, I think I'm in the wrong vocation. I'm so not belonging to airforce. Ahahas yeas I'm abit siao but really, I think I belong to infantry. I miss chiong sua and road marches and soc; especially road march =D But nvm, Ima run at least 5km everyday for 5 days a week. Hahs I'm sure I'll slim down this way ba. Die also wanna get my abs and muscles to fit into newurbanmale tanks! lol.
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Oh 1 last thing, I said ima belong to infantry. I'm really crazy right? Haas wells I'm organising a group who's interested in conquering mount kinabalu, highest mountain in malaysia, standing at 4095m above sea level. Gonna go between june to august. I wanna do something adventurous before leaving army, and before going to US. So heys, anyone interested do sms me or tag mee to let me know yeah? Peace!

New Era

2007-12-28T06:17:00.000-08:00

Wow time passes by really fast ain't it? Wells this will be my final post for the year 2007 I guess. How shall I end it? Yeah I shall end it on the note of what I've learnt throughout this year. Indeed I've been through alot. But what impacted me alot lately is on the tone of friendship. I realised something, especially this week since I'm on holiday; and it might be the last I'll have in a long time to come. Yeahs sad to say, I realised that I've no real friends ever since I came back. This week is enough to prove the point to me. For the whole week of activities I've planned, none of it got fulfill. I've been thinking alot: IF people always say that they'll be here for you, wouldn't they do their best in order to get committed into your life? Alot of memories vaguely passes by me, yet I can't seemed to find anyone in those memories who're willing to get committed to people. I guess my expectations in life are high, but this is what I've always sort after; Perfection. I'm really disappointed with myself, thinking, why my life has turned into this way, wasting this 'holiday' of mine away and feeling that I'm in hell rather than enjoying myself.
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I really want God to bring me out of all these now, out of this long term torturing. If possible, I'll definitely leave Singapore, and start my life anew elsewhere. I don't feel as attached to friendships like I was in the past anymore. Perhaps its better to forget all that has happened in my life and start all anew. Well, maybe your word of encouragement to me is, all that happened in 2007 is past. Forget everything and look towards a better year in 2008. Oh wait, is 2008 going to come and bring me full renewal of all the friendships I've made? The simple truth is no. If people have been treating you like crap, most probably they're thinking you're crap, and probably for the rest of your life.
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Quite frankly, this will almost be my last christmas and new year in Singapore. Somehow I realised how lonely and everyone who couldn't be bothered with me being part of their life anymore. Really really tired. I wanna give up. Not just for the past days but even today, I really wanna let go everything. I wanna cry. Can I? Screwed. Life felt so meaningless all of a sudden.

Cycles of Life

2007-12-23T09:33:00.000-08:00

Forever, and ever, my blog will be left alone. Perhaps its time to bring all my thoughts back into this blog. So much has happened lately, yet lately I'm beginning to feel disappointed again. Yes christmas is indeed a joyous occasion. Thank God for clement who finally accepted Jesus into his heart after so much prayers, prayers and prayers. Indeed it is easy to be committed to something, but to stay focused and maintaining something is another matter.
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I wanna bring out something which have been kept these past weeks, something which I feel that it is very superficial like what my mum says about big church. Is it really because of not stepping out and thats why friendships in church are so superficial? N184, you all should know what I talking about, especially since I tried taking the initiative last few weeks but rarely do I get it back. Well then, I was discouraged but still I took the initiative getting everyone to be committed to each other and bond stronger. Wells lately I couldnt take it anymore, so I stopped for a few days. I just cant imagine that within this few days of me not getting into everyone's life, everyone is like drifting away from my life. What is this? Even if I do take initiative, I'm always still being ignored, and even after me doing so much, nobody, not one bothers to link back to me. Is it really, that friendships are so superficial in life? or rather, is friendship in cell group all just for show?
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Guys, dun worry, this is just me feeling discouraged, unlike last time when everytime such things happened, I'll be really hurt n damaged. Another thing that I wanna post about, is that a new year will be coming into reality. Perhaps nobody cares or what, but very soon I'll be leaving your life for the States. Perhaps thats the reason everyone is not bothering me at all? Knowing that even if friendships are built with me, it will not survive anyway? Maybe nobody knows my current lifestyle now. Imagine, that from secondary school, all my friends went to different places. They meet their own groups of friends, get to know better bonding friends, and always stick together. When I come back, my group of friends are limited to my secondary school friends. Everytime I needed support, when I needed a friend to talk to, most probably I cant find anyone. Even when I tried to make new friends, only a handful are willing to listen to my problems. Even so they have their own group of friends and I'll be outcast no matter what. Now that I'm in airforce, everything is like that too. Guys, why dont you all put youself into my shoes, and think. Yeahs just think, how you'll feel if your life is this way.
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Wells, thanks for reading about my feelings. feels much better indeed after releasing it away =) Oh wells I dunno whts gotten me into this kind of feelings anyway. NIght everyone. Merry Christmas.

Seek and You'll Find

2007-11-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

The day of the Lord comes, and it was said: For in due time the purpose of your life and destiny shall be prepared, and you shall go into the world and make use of your talents and dreams for the good of the world. Be bold. Dream big. Nothing is impossible if you trust in the Lord. By faith, let everything be planned by the Lord according to your dreams.

...

When I was in cell group today, feeling really lousy, I felt like how I've been feeling for weeks, if God really is there for me. I feel like sliding back every single day, and I don't even know if God knows how I was feeling. Though I was ministered regarding the grace of God and not to take it for granted, I still can't figure out why I felt so alone, like a lost soul. Johnson said about God using others around us to bless us and speak to us, and I started doubting whether that really happens or it is just made up. I prayed to God, asking God to break through my life, break into my life. When I was praying, the words: Break my heart for what breaks yours, everything I have for your kingdoms cause. As I walk from earth into reality. Show me how to love like you have loved me...etc. After cg, I thought this will be another week going off with the same feeling, but I was wrong. When I was at clarke quey after parking my car, a guy approached me and said something which stunned me. He said that the Lord spoke to him to come over and pray for me. I was really shocked, for my doubts about God using people to change my life around vanished. I was reluctant at first, for its my first experience until he told me about a picture he saw in his mind. Surprisingly, the picture he said was exactly what I saw during praying at the end of cg. Wells thank God for this special encounter, for a few verses were annointed and etched into my life as the mysterious guy prayed for me, and reverberating the verses he sense God wants me to carry as my foundation. God is good after all...hopefully I can carry on after he prayed for me. Thank God for his answers through that guy (pastor?) for I sense strong foundation in him.

...

"I saw a stong lion. Be bold and strong in everything you do. A white dove is flying past, and God is carrying you up into the skies, all the problems away. God is carry you, soaring into the skies across the nation with no boundries. God wants to carry you into greatness, but are you willing?".... 1Thes 5:3-11; Rom 5:5; Isa 40:31

Memories..

2007-11-03T09:36:00.000-07:00

Its been sometime. I've been watching a show which many still remembers; titled turn left, turn right. Im sure most of you still remembers. Somehow while watching the show especially when it draws nearer to the ending part, when the couples got together in the end, a conclusion about life forms in my head too. Even though it takes great stength and hope for something you desire in life, but if you stand strong and with great faith that nothing is impossible, you'll have it in the end. The story itself is a touching, especially when their lives got together in the end.

...

Me? I've been thinking alot these days. About what I want, what I really want and desire, and if what I want is what God wants me to visualise and gave me. Is it my dream, or is it a dream presented from God? I want to prosper. I want to pursue my dreams. Lately, I've been thinking about stuffs again, about the past. I've been thinking about the girl who've made my life anew, the same girl who've brought so much joy n sadness to me. Nowadays when im alone, I can just sit there wondering how life will turn out in the near future. I'll just think of all those happening in US, and what would've happened if I didnt go through all those. Perhaps they're just adolescent pangs? Sometimes I really dunno what Im thinking. Theres so much in my mind crammed at the same time, work army God friends problems camps future...everything. How I wish there can be just 1 person who can seriously share everything with me. God is there definitely, but somehow all the problems still haunt me even if I've told God. Its like sucking me everyday.

...

If I havent been optimistic, I'll have gone away a long time ago. Somehow Im still staying here, though getting weaker and frustrated everyday. Somehow I feel that I dun belong to the outside world, and church, anymore. I felt so empty when Im not in camp. I've never experienced this emptiness before. And somehow most people doesnt care abt my empty world. Its like...living in my own world. Now I really understand how adults need to balance work, personal life, love and God at the same time. To be truthful, I really feel so lonely n bitter inside every weekends. I felt happier during weekdays when Ive so much work to do in camp to occupy my life. Can I really make it through my barrier now, and aim to balance everything in my life now? No wonder its so hard to stay faithful in camp. Somehow, I felt that whatever I've written havent even overed 340percent of whats bothering me. I dunno. Its just getting me paranoid. Period.

Off to Australia

2007-09-25T03:16:00.000-07:00

Hey all...I guess its been sometime since I've updated my blog. Wells this month has turned out pretty good. Alot of wonderful things has happened, to my friends as well as myself. God is indeed good yeah, who tried so hard to keep me going everyday, and protects me when I'm in danger. Yeah I was recalling the last few days when I nearly got banged into by a car, by like an inch off or something. Well anyway, I've been chosen to go Australia to learn more about my weapon, and I'm really glad because not many people has the chance for it. Also, I feel that this 15 days is more of a retreat for me. I guess I've been too concentrated in areas of life, and perhaps this is the best time to boost myself up before I drift off further and further from the Lord.

....

How time flies yeah? Definitely. I've been feeling down these few days, and dun bother asking me why because only 1 person knows in this whole world. Sometimes I wish life can be more carefree, more open. But anyway, I'll hopefully use this period of time to reflect on what I want to achieve in my life before planning my future ahead. Anyway, dun bother contacting me when Im in Australia alright? I've no auto roaming so its useless to sms or call me. Take this as a retreat for me to concentrate on my spiritual life alright, and let me disappear from everyone's life for half a month. Wells thanks for everyone's understanding. Hope to hear from everyone when I return on the 10 October at 1750H. Bye all.

Troubled

2007-08-26T06:21:00.000-07:00

Wells supposedly I was feeling really happy and glad these few weeks and especially the last, but due to some struggling within myself I just became so down all of a sudden. Indeed time passes so quickly, and everything is changing so rapidly. I managed to survive the field camp last week, which is more of a physical torture rather than mental stress. Yup its the first time that I didnt get any rest and sleep throughout the whole night. Its a wonder how much I can force myself even though I'm so tired, yet I pushed on to finish my work. In the end slept for 2 hours the next morning at 8am. The second day was worst, finishing and camouflaging the equipments until 4am. I even fell asleep after taking a bite on night snack, with the bread still in my hand and mouth. Yet however, its all worth it.

I just went through my inbox today, and I realised how much the e-mails have actually cheered me up and supported me when I was in States. Somehow I really missed those times when that person have taken the time to cheer me up even when she's down. Wells not only that, but I do miss those times in US, not on the relationship part though but on the life as a whole. Even after I came back, there was so much friends and bond. Now? Everything feels more like a dream to me than reality. Sometimes I wish I can just stay in the dreams, so that I dun have to wake up one day and realised that the friendships forged are all GONE.

FOP

2007-08-05T05:30:00.000-07:00

Can you believe how time flies when you're happy, and how time seems to drag during the toughest period of your life? Yups its interesting isn't it. My life is so great now, even though so much has changed. Even though friends have left my life more or less, even though there are times when I do miss them, I'll never feel down because of it again. The reason being God is always my friend, and thats one friend nobody else can replace in life. Even though God left me all alone at times, It was for the better. Interesting how I desire to get into command school during BMT when I was on the edge of becoming OOC, and God made miracles in my life and sent me to SISPEC. Imagine after how much I desire to get in, yet I regretted, swore and curse on my life during those times. Imagine when I was on the verge of collapse and losing hope in SISPEC, God spoke to me to push on. Yups I do remember it. I pushed on because of Gods strength in me. When I reached my destination then, there wasn't miracle at all. In fact all I felt was I wanted to be dead. I lost hope. I was in despair, and I started to drift away from God. But now looking back at those times, if it wasn't for God's word and strength to push on those times, I wouldn't be where I am right now, a commander to be. Indeed, it takes time for God's plan to install into my life, a very long time indeed. Before we get our harvest, there will always be a period of waiting after we sow. Yups thank God for moulding me into a specialist of RSAF, a specialist of 160 squadron, a specialist of RSAF 'commandos'. I do see my purpose for God now, that God has given me the authority to lead my future man. God gave me the authority, to have the authority over others, and to inspire and shine for God for all to see. Indeed, I'm doing so well now, that I'm becoming a motivation for my course mate as well. Thats what I'll work towards, to motivate everyone in my life. Wells the rest doesn't really matter anymore, because I just know, that my life has been planned. Hopefully, I'll get to talk more about my life if possible since I'm getting so busy lately.

Disillusional

2007-07-22T05:29:00.000-07:00

Heys finally I'm back updating this blog yeah. Sorry was kinda busy for the last few weeks, mostly because of trying to spend time studying for the exams exams and more exams in airforce. Sigh yeah its 75% to pass all the exam, and if I didn't pass I'll be confined. Sad huh. Thats kinda like my worry these days. Wells anyway alot has happened since the time I last updated, but I'll not be too naggy and get into that topic. Perhaps just about this week? Wells training in really tough, but I'm loving it mainly because it's keeping me fit again. Wells had my birthday yesterday, and wow, can you believe how fast time glides? Yeah I couldn't believe it myself too. Anyways service was so cool yesterday, and out of the blue it just came to me that exactly 1 year ago, Wanyi brought me for service on that day, and that was how I started feeling so in Love with the Lord. That feeling was exactly the same, as though I've gone back a year back exactly and starting to change. Yeah hopefully, my life will make a full turn back on the track with the Lord, though its not going as well right now. No not at all.

Anyways, thanks to my cg for celebrating my birthday with me yesterday, even though the tissue box gift was really shocking at first. Hahas. Yups I really thought everyone got me a tissue box for my birthday lol. Speaking about bd, I realised that alot of my close friends (or maybe not so close at all) had forgotten about my birthday. Its a lil depressing I know, but I guess this is the reality I've to face since everyone is so busy with their lives. In fact, I'll rather not give a heck about friends who doesn't bother about me just because of minor misunderstanding. My life is going on well right now without that kinda friend, and I guess I'll prefer leading my own life. Okies shoot I've talked too much now. Really need to complete many many chapters tonight or else I'll fail the exam tomorrow. Keep me in prayers for my exams and army life yeah. Chill.

Stumbling Block

2007-06-24T06:54:00.000-07:00

Firstly, I wanna thank God for His blessings that guided me through all the exams last week. There were 2 exams in total that required high percentage to pass, and I also had to pass my IPPT. Somehow, I managed to pass everything, including the exams which I was given only 2 days to finish reading and studying a whole book. Wells anyways saturday went to church, and I decided to sit with N184 after sitting alone for a few weeks. True to my prediction, they are still in group, and any other members outside their circle are like dummies and outsiders. Thats totally how I feel and it got so bad, that sitting alone in church was much happier for me than sitting with a group of 'friends' who doesn't give a heck about you. Anyways I was feeling weird that they doesn't bother and was making my way to my car when I bumped into Kok Koon. Thank God yeah we talked about some issues and he decided to fellowship with me even though he had something else on. Thanks for sharing your time listening to my problem =) Anyways drove around everywhere, pick gladys up and drive back to bedok, then back to expo to pick up yang zheng, send gladys home, went to KK house then went for midnight movie. Haven't done something like that for sometime already has. Anyways today went to sentosa with Wanyi. Spend a short while there and I drove back home. Lost my way in the process, and the feeling was really crappy. Really felt afraid and alone. Sorry about the post as I'm in a rush right now to booking in. Anyways, thanks for all the fun yeah, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Gladys =))

Memories

2007-06-10T09:10:00.000-07:00

Welcome back I guess, especially to Kok Koon who've always been reading and awaiting my updates. This will be a very short blog as I'm going to book into AFS really early tomorrow. Wells even though I'm feeling goggy now, I still want to update on my life. While surfing the net just before I went to bed, somehow I decided to read my past blog entries. Somehow as I was reading the posts, I felt as though I'm going through the journeys I've taken in the past few months. I've experienced so much emotions, feelings, fun, joy, crushes, or even quarrels. There's so many things people read from blog and look at it from 1 perspective of the blog, but the real story lies within the words, within myself. Sometimes I wish things can turn around and rebuild that cell group, and when I saw a vision to do so, I was so high on hopes. Yet everytime that happens, something must always happen to destroy that dream. I guess its just tough luck now, after so much has happened. But still, even though everything to do with cg has ended, I shall never forget those times where everyone is really nice. Where every word of God, every revalations, every blessings; I always place it in a manner that without cg members and Johnson especially, I'll not have received it. Theres so much I wouldn't forget, and it'll always be part of the memories. Everyone has changed. Johnson has changed the most over the last few months. Nothing is ever the same again. Lets just keep those sweet memories as the way it was, and never forget it. I've said what I want to. Good night everybody.

Air Force School

2007-06-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

Glad about me updating this blog? Maybe so, or maybe not. If so, I shall not be bothered anyway but carry on with my life updates? Where should I start? I shall go back to the date where I just graduated from SISPEC bslc course. Looking back, I realised that the torturings and miscommunications are really redundant in delta company. Even the whole school in SISPEC agreed that delta is the toughest company, not just because of physical training, but mental stretching. Indeed, everything was so demanding there that my life turned upside down. Sure I am still recovering from my injuries in SISPEC, but thats not the main point during that time. The part which pulls me down was when I wanted to report sick in the afternoon after struggling with the pain the whole morning just because I don't want to miss anything during FIBUA, my sergeant force me to fall out and not let me report sick. Reason being he thinks that I just want to go back bunk to sleep. That point of time, I felt like dirt because that bastard fucked me in front of so many commanders. I'm pissed simply because he just don't give a damn about injuries, only about his attitude that he cares. Oh wells...

Now that I'm out of SISPEC, I'm feeling much better after getting the news that I've been posted to air force. This came as a pleasant surprise for me and I calculated to only less than 5% from SISPEC got posted to airforce. Wells my unit in air force is air defense artilary, and I'm going to become an air defense system specialist. Even though I got the news that I'll be trained to handle the 35mm oerlikon gun (thoughest vocation of all the air defense), trained 'commando style' in air force, I still feel that its fine for me since I'll be at chong pang camp after the training. So darn near my house. Thank God I didn't get the I-HAWK missile system or whatever crap things which is in lim chu kang camp. So yeah, last week was very relaxing, going through airman orientation program and its 8am to 5pm everyday. But starting tomorrow, I'll be in camp in air force school for tough trainings.

Life recently was so much better after my big decision last week, and I'm glad nevertheless to diverge away from the path I was taking. Reason for my erratic behavior is simple, yet others just can't see the obvious simply because of the guy taking the CGL role. Firstly, and most importantly, I'm not just any fucked up 13 or 16 years old whom he have any rights to question me at all. This really made me feel as though I'm some nutters still in secondary school. Saying and telling me that I've childish behavior just because I don't wanna talk to him anymore made me feel like a fool. Feel like as though I've gone through college and getting my degree is all for nothing. Feel like as if I'm being forced to attend church service even though I've attended so many throughout the emerge weekend. Secondly, I'm not some criminal who have to be questioned with a tone that prolongs the effect that I'm guilty for not attending a simple matter such as 1 service during emerge. Whats wrong with needing to pack my rubbish from bslc for afs? And whats wrong with meeting up with my buddies after I finish packing early? CGL may have hell loads of time in church, but I don't have the luxury of gracing myself before going off to work. Service ends at 10pm, and I've to wake up at 6am the next day for reporting to camp. If I were to attend the night service, God knows when the whole event will end? So I decided not to try my luck and get my parents upset and pissed off with me for returning home so late, and I got an attitude guy who called and screw me after that? Something as simple as my parents wanting me to go home early for dinner, and all the CGL wants is for me to attend every sermon? Whats more, I managed to get david coming to church again this coming week when I met him and clement at night. I'm out getting my friends to church to know more about God, and all my CGL thinks is that I'll rather spend time having fun with my friends than going to church until 11pm then I get home, and get screwed by my parents after that. Wells, its just too bad that I've got a CGL with an attitude problem, one who throws his frustrations and upsetness to his members and who doesn't bother about if his members are having any problems in their life as long as they can turn up for service and make him happy. This is not what I want from going to church. What I want is going to church without any worries, and going because of God Himself. Since I can't get it from my postition right now, all I can do is to leave. This is goodbye, to my ex-cg. Goodbye to my leaders, friends, my contricted life. Service today was really great, and I felt much happier without a leader who only cares for his cell group growth while neglecting the other aspects and problems in the members life. This is not how a cg should grow. This is not even how spiritual life grows. This time, I'm for real and I'm not turning back at all. Even the fun in cg is already diminished where they always keep to their own groups. Even when there's outing, I'm not even being informed. Everything felt so distant to me, and I've seriously no regrets turning away now. So all I can say now is, GOODBYE

Wandering

2007-05-20T03:58:00.000-07:00

As usual, I booked out yesterday from camp, and here I am now again preparing to book in. This week and especially last week has been terrible. Imagine me marching in the whole of tekong until the point where my tears just rolled down uncontrollably, with about 35kg of load on my body. Wells its the past now so I dun wanna talk about it. Its the worst ordeal I've been through. Sigh. Anyways church was pretty good this weekend, especially yesterday evening. However, the presence in church was terrible today. I couldn't feel anything and I dunno what I was doing in church at all. I felt so stressed and down right away after the service, for some apparent reasons which I dun wanna talk about. After the service, I just felt so down that I dun even wanna attend the prayer meeting. Wells my mind is just so crammed up right now, and I apologize for my behavior. Its just that so many things has happened, and the one thing which I never wanted to happen, well it did. I guess theres not much I can do. I just kept on losing close friends in my life ever since I came back from US. Wells, I guess in time to come, it will not matter anymore at all. In times to come, I really hope that I can forget all about them. In times to come, I will not be in Singapore anymore. Sigh.

To: Who You Are

2007-05-14T00:51:00.000-07:00

What is pride? To me, its nothing more than lifting up yourself to face the world, instead of covering away from it. Is pride more important that God? Of course not, and never will that happen. Even though after I decided to move on in my life, I decided to shift away my pride just so that I can worship my Father in heaven. Well thats all I want to write for now. This is directly to someone who've decided to leave away from us; from me; from my life. Is pride really so important to the extent of giving up all your friends? Haven't I tried so hard to maintain friendships in my life, yet because of pride friendships have to be shattered? Is it really worth letting go what you love just because you're stressed out and tired? I just went through hell for 3 whole weeks, and yet I decided to come back to church 'cause I can't live without it. This cg needs YOU. I need YOU back in my life to guide me. Are you willing to come back, forgo the pride for one second, and all your worries? I've been through what you're going through now, and I'm struggling with myself now in my life. Yet, and yet how empty this life of mine feels. I felt all alone you know that? Friendship that came a long way, a long distance, a long altitude; and now I'm back to square one. Back to the day I was born, without friends, without life.

Lost

2007-05-01T02:27:00.000-07:00

As usual, here I am sitting in front of the laptop with a few minutes to spare before booking back into doomsday. Before I go, there's just some things I want to write regarding myself, and the reason why I want to take a break now. Sures everyone will get tired and exhausted, but believe it or not, I've been extremely exhausted with myself and my life for quite awhile already. Looking back into the past when I just came back from US, I felt really glad that I've found my family, in church. But months later down the path I took, I realised that as much as I love this family I have, I can't contain a double figurative side of me. As I went into army to serve my purpose, my family drifted away from me. Though there's lots of confirmation and persistive cheerful words from them all, I just can't help but feel that I could no longer click into that family which I once belonged to. Just last week on the last day on field camp, I finally cracked. I changed. I became another side of me which I dun want to become. And yet, I couldn't take it as the finally 8km killer road march finally cracked me inside out. That saturday was the transformation day, where I suddenly felt that I dun want to care about anything else anymore, even my life. That day, was the very day which I which I could just die of heat exhaustion, when I'm already so close to it.

After that road march, the only thought came into my mind: God spoke to me to hang on where I am now, to endure; Yet God wasn't with me when I wanted to die. Nobody bothers even if I survive or die. The truth is, nowadays the only time I felt God around was in church. Other than that, I felt lost. Right now, I felt so constricted and stress inside me. I dont feel any joy, neither do I care. I just dunno how to explain this feeling inside me. Its just something that is so stressful. Something that tells me it is all over. I want to know what is going on inside me and why am I changing in both my character and attitude. The first thing I need to do is to leave my house, my family. I just felt that if I don't leave, I'll be the outcast and disappointment to Johnson and cg. Wells, thats it I want to say. Most possibly I wouldn't be bothering much about anything in my life anymore, because I want a break in the secular world.

Service with Benny Hinns

2007-04-15T01:20:00.000-07:00

A really quick update today...sigh kinda rushing for time right now because I gotta book in at 7pm. Life in delta company is seriously horrible man. Late book out and early book in. Nevertheless, its really well worth it to rush down for Benny Hinns church service at Singapore Indoor Stadium. Service was just so powerful man. I receive revelations and most of all, miraculous healing from God. Thank God for that yeah. =) I was actually having internal bleeding inside my body last whole week, and my stools are all mixed with blood. But after service last night, after healings during prayer; God healed me and for the first time in 1 whole week, there was no blood in my stool. God indeed has been faithful to all of us yeah. Thank for for all the healings last night too. Saw so much miracles...people recovering from cancer; moving around out from their wheel chair; healings everywhere. And also for the first time in my christian life, I felt God. The power was so strong for the first time. Going through my body. Through my prayer. And it was the first time I received revalations twice last night. God also spoke to me through the holy spirit so clearly last night, telling me what He has planned for me. I really hope that every service in CHC will be like that from this week on yeah. Hopefully everyone else also enjoyed themselves in service.

Feelings...

2007-04-07T14:15:00.000-07:00

Arghh...theres so much in my mind right now. I just kept having strange feelings inside myself lately. Its a kinda weird feeling, because I've never felt it before. Its a...well...love feeling perhaps? Not the kind of love I've been through in my life so far, but a feeling that just arose out of me during friday's easter service during church time. I just felt so...strong. Like a dose of sleeping pills that just causes you into drowsiness for no reason. I dunno how to explain it really. Sigh. Now, feelings just came through me as I prayed just now. Its kinda heavy, like I dunno what to do except to just pray about it. I was actually writing an essay for SAF commander when I just couldnt continue writing; My mind is filled with so much feelings that I cant think of what to write. Well anyways, army is horrible now...hopefully I can get through my BSLC man. Really torturing.

POP!! Out From Tekong!!

2007-03-14T08:20:00.000-07:00

Finally yeah... I'm out of tekong! Hahas...somehow I kinda missed that place...just a little bit. Feel like there's nothing much for me to do right now during this block leave that I got. Wells anyways, last few weeks have been great. Even though I failed my IPPT the first time by 5 seconds for my 2.4km, I managed a great timing the second time I tried, and its a few days after the final 24km road march. Wells, Had the final road march 24km in full battle order last friday, and well its really tough. But somehow the atmosphere for the last 8 click was powerful. Felt like a true soldier after going through it. And everyone was singing songs and motivating each other. Power. The final running for IPPT really made me feel like I can achieve anything, mostly because its the first time in my whole life that I run 2.4km with a timing less than 12mins.

Anyways, yesterday is finally my POP!! Hahas. It feels good to even struggle through all the shit, especially some sergeants in raven company are giving me. Wells but anyway, I'm finally a private...no more a recruit. Hahas. The better news these days is actually getting a new car... And its a real good one too. Thank God for it yeah...building fund period has indeed told me that God will indeed return our sowing 100 folds. Owning a car in Spore was once impossible to me, but like what God has told us. Before we get our blessings, there will be a period of waiting. So friends out there. Don't stop giving God your tithings and building funds. For in due time to come, God will pour down His blessings so great yeah =P

Oh btw, I realised that I'm getting lazier in updating this blog. Hopefully everyone who've read my blog shall give me some encouragement and motivation to keep this blog going. Hmm I guess for the next few days I should be just slacking and waiting for my posting to arrive. I wonder where I'll go to...OCS? SISPEC? MP? Wells didn't matter to me. All I know is God do everything for a purpose. Wherever I get into next, Its my destiny from God, and I shall have the purpose to serve God in every aspect of the marketplace.

Happy New Year =)

2007-02-18T06:42:00.000-08:00

Heyys I'm finally out of tekong... Its been a long time since I came back to civillisation hahas. I wanna talk about my life ever since I went for 2 weeks retreat in my own world, away from others. I guess I've really done the right thing, because ever since going through field camp during that 2 weeks of meditation, I've never felt so cheerful for a long time in my life. When I got injured, I kept on thinking to myself, seeking and questioning God why I've to go through all the sufferings. Now I realised, that what I've been through was a trial for me. It is a test of my faith in God. I've had high expectations for myself to live up to, but now I realised that if I always get my way, I'll not have seen the other options thats available in my life. So yeah... I'm finally off status, and I went through my 3 day SIT test without much problem. 3 days is no joke to me, especially when I've not exercised for more than a month. During the first day, I did 12km road march with my friends in FBO. That means carrying all the shit loads on my back, which weighs definitely more than 15kg. Man, thats a real test of my faith indeed. When I finally finished the race, success have never tasted as sweet before.

Okies so I thought 12km was bad for me, especially when this road march was my 3rd road march in my BMTC life. I did 3km march the first time, then 6km the second time. Now, 12km! I didn't think I can make it, but I endured and pushed through. Just when I thought that I could relax and enjoy SIT test for the next 2 days, I got disturbing news. First, my partner that I got for my kilo detail is someone that my whole platoon dislike. Second, I hit jackpot when I realised that my position for the whole test is being a medic. This might've not seen that bad, until I realised that I've got to carry a stretcher on my back everywhere I go, and its no joke when it weighs more than 6kg. Ok so I thought its not too bad since there's 2 medic in every detail. But guess what? The other medic in my detail, didn't go for SIT test. I realised that my detail is the only one that don't have 2 medics. So yeah, I had to carry the heavy load on my back all the way, and it hurts alot. The second day of SIT test was hell. We did 4km FAST march in long 4 uniform and my battle vest. I thought that was it, until I got the shock of my life when I knew I had to carry the stretcher along too. OMG it was literally hell for me. The fast march almost took my life away I guess. Its more like wearing a 6kg battle vest, in long sleeve uniform, and carrying the 8kg stretcher on my back going for a 4km jog. After the march, my leg almost gave way again, but I managed through, and I thank God about it.

3rd day morning did the marching thingy again but luckily this time its only 2km fast march. I managed through it, and the situational test is kinda fun. Even though this is the first time I perspire so much in my entire life, its well worth it. On the last day after completing all my 12 missions, A sweet aeromatic scent of success came to me. For the first time since been injured in BMT, I felt really happy because I knew that my shot towards being a commander persist. However, after going through the last month, I do not have a goal that I desire. Instead, I desire to be what God has planned for me. Be it going to becoming an officer or going to SISPEC to become a sergeant, or even being a normal rifleman; I know that whatever path I go to, I can always trust God. Indeed, my life has transformed from bounds to bounds. Even though there might be slight unhappiness or quarrels with friends, I've realised that I could forgive and forget much easier. I've never been a happier person, and I'm glad I chose to do some spiritual reflections of myself. Even though friends may have moved on or forget about me, I know that God is always thinking of me 24/7, every single day of my life. Right now, I want to move on in my army life, and I want to go back to america for my degree. I'll miss alot of people here if I do go back, but still I know I must to ensure a stable future. Dad has told me already that he'll be going back to US next year, and has already asked if I want to go back with him. I agreed without much persuasion. But anyway, I leave it up to God to guide my future =)

Lost

2007-01-14T07:41:00.000-08:00

Right now, I just didn't have the mood to do anything. Everything in my life just isn't right at the moment. Even though I've already adapted to NS life, more trials are coming, or perhaps is already on the way. Last few months have really been great, going out and chilling and stuffs, but I always keep a notepin that nothing in this world will be forever, ongoing, intimidating. Right now, I'm just feeling a little, well, cheerful would be a downright lie to myself and everyone. I'm actually feeling sad with myself, and what I'm going through now, both physically and mentally. If you guys still dunno what happened, the thing that bothers me right now other than friendship is actually my body physical condition. I'm having some pains on both my legs, around my patella region, for almost 3 weeks already. Thought that it was just some old knee problem, but the x ray I took last night at Changi General Hospital showed that nothing is wrong with my knee bone. Most likely, I think its my muscles. Really felt the weird pain but somewhat, I felt as though its a small muscular pain which I made a big fuss out of. How upsetting that feels? Everyone is building and losing weight, while I felt like a sick puppy sitting at one corner everyday in NS. I love to lose weight. I love to exercise. But my condition doesn't allow me to.

Feeling quite goggy right now because I took too much medicine. So actually, I was feeling down because of my mental association towards friendships. Alot has changed, but nevertheless, adapting is the key to solving everything. I hate to lose friendships, or having close friends drifting further from me, and thats why I care so much about friendship. It has always been the key to my spirit endurance, and it always will be. Some of you readers might also have great thoughts and imaginations, and might have thought that I'm down or sad because of feelings and relationships. Problem is I'm not, because God has brought me through my tough times. Only 2 people know what I'm talking abt when I said tough times, so don't bother asking me. I'm not telling. But anyway, I thank God for the strength that guided me through my dark valley. I'm on the verge of collapsing, but no one can help me except myself. Thanks Johnson for telling me that.

Who doesn't have dreams right? I do have a dream in NS right now, to shine for God. Even though I might not have the ability to do so right now, OCS shall still be my motivation, for I always have high goals and expectations in my life. Not giving up is my key and motivation now, for even though I'm down with so much illness and sickness, I shall press on and not give up my BMT life. Ask, and it shall be given. Seek, and you'll find. Don't worry much about me guys, for I'm just feeling really down now. After church yesterday, I felt the words that God has told me right at the beginning, and I shall work towards it. What about my goal in life? I have a goal that I'll walk towards to, for in God, nothing is impossible.

Back To Tekong

2007-01-01T10:22:00.000-08:00

Enemies turned out from around in all directions, friends who even backstabbed and crapped on me right from behind. I should be thankful that school holiday is finally going to be over, because this will be the time when mindset childish people can set their directions in life right. But no, I felt miserable. Horrific with myself. In this whole world, there's only 1 person who understands and know how I'm feeling now. Only that 1 person knows how I truely feel inside me. Only 1 person, knows how I've been hiding behind the pillar of de-oiled chains of thorns. Thats because I've chose this path, to hide myself.

Everyone sees me as a strong leader, a strong faith keeper, and a strong influence on others. But no one really knows how fragile I really am inside. Outwardly, I've set myself a very good example to others, even trying my best to shine for God. But inwardly, I am fighting a losing battle. I can guide others around me, teach them the steps to undertake in their life. But who'll be the one guiding me? I'm seriously getting very exhausted trying to control my own emotions, my own feelings, my own personality, my own character. In fact, Johnson is right. NS is really a test of my faith to God, and a test of endurance of my feelings. When I get too tired, I might just really give up.

I guess, its really time for me to drift myself away. Perhaps its really time to have a break, a time where I can really sit down with myself and plan out my life. All these happening now is only temporary, but still I want to thank God for putting me through these trials. I just want to thank God for his greatness. About me, I'll rather stay the same way I am, keep my problems to myself, and stay strong as a leader. Even if I really dislike having someone around me, I'll still have to take it and swollow it. I hate mood spoilers. They suck. Bloody hell.

Last Day

2006-12-15T07:07:00.000-08:00

This post will be kinda emotional, just because there's so much weight inside me which wasn't lifted. But still, thanks to everyone who've given me their friendship and care these few months. Time indeed passes real quick when we're all having fun together. Even though everything might change very soon, when everyone goes back to schooling, and some step up in faith in their next phrase of life, Nothing beats having the family and friendships that I've grown with all these time. The impartial moment of life shall make man partake their own bitterness core, but the fruits harvested into this earth shall reign, and God shall pour His blessings to everyone who step up in faith; To everyone who believes. This christmas, let us all N184 be that fruit in this world, That'll wrap the revolting core and spread sweetness of the season into their lifes. We shall fast and pray for it together. Even though I can't be there physically for everyone, I shall be there spiritually and mentally. The core of the fruit might taste horrible, but through the strength everyone has given to me, the sweetness of the season spreading throughout my life; I shall not backslide from God. My destiny shall come to pass, and my life shall live for the glory of our God.

....

I want to write this post to a few close friends in my life, for I might not have the chance to do so in future anymore. Firstly, to Eileen, Even though I might not be with you to guide you, or to teach you what to do, put your trust in God. I've so much to say to you, but so little time left. I seriously hope that you like the surprise I gave to you and vivian, especially to you. The presents I bought for you might not cost a bomb, but still I used my own hardearned money to buy it for you. Its my precious which I spent to get it yeahs. Treasure it, just like I treasure this friendship. Just like you treasure all those fun times together. If ever you need someone to talk to, or to guide you, just give me a call or sms in army. I'll definitely get back to you =)

Next, to Vivian, I do hope you like that gift I got you. Wish I can write more but your com is down, which means you couldn't read it anyway. Hahas. The christmas gift is also a surprise to you I hope, for I always like to sprung surprises. Hahas anyways I'll let you know how I feel tomorrow, since you're sending me off. To Wanyi, thanks for the friendship and I thank God for putting you in my life. You've done so much for me in my life, even bringing me back to the Lord. Sometimes I wish time can slow down, but thats impossible. Without your support during the times when I almost crumbled in US, I think I might not have survived through. Thanks yeah...hope you like the sudden surprise I gave you too. Even though I spent alot on tuesday with you, from buffet to neoprint, but its a trip worth it. Hehes.

....

Anyways, Its time for me to go. But before I do that, Eileen...Thanks for everything...*solemnly* *seriously*...hahahass. I guess when its time to move on in life, to step up in faith towards God, and to stay faithful, I shall do my best. Lastly, thanks to everyone, especially Johnson for making my life so worth it. Friends, brothers and sisters, I shall miss you all. Take care...God bless =)

2 More Days to NS

2006-12-13T09:17:00.000-08:00

Its time, for another uptake and breakthrough in my relationship with God. So much has happened these few weeks, but still I thank God for placing all the obstacles in my life. Lately, I've been slacking especially from prayer and reading bible, but all these are going to change. NS is the next milestone for my life. It shall be my retreat to know more about our father, but whether or not I make it through these times; whether I remain strong in my prayer or backslide from God; It'll be everyone's help and my own faith in God. Okies enough of the solemn stuffs... I've not being blogging lately because I'm just too busy since my NS date approaches. Anyways these few weeks have been busy. I went out with Wanyi to orchard yesterday. Welcome back from OBML! Hahas...Then I went to fellowship almost everyday.

As everyone know, christmas season is here and its the time where everyone give thanks. Lately, friendships have been forged and strengthened, and before I leave for NS I want to say a few words to my friends. =) Firstly, to Leenx... our friendship strengthened in the most weird way (Hahas you do know what I mean) but still, I thank God for this friendship. =) Sigh I think I'm gonna miss those chats we had at night, especially about the problems we have. lol but thank you in advance for still being there for me after I go in (You know what I mean again lol) Also, to Wanyi; Thanks for being so open with me and sharing things with me. I'm so glad you've came back to Singapore. I've missed you so so much when you've been gone in my life =( But when you came back, I just felt so very happy. Hahas we had frun yesterday didn't we? =P Hope I didn't shocked you when I gave u that present hahas... Oh and to Vivian... Friends are hard to come by, so do treasure and hold on hard to it no matter what yeahs? As your thinking changes, so will your life; and I pray for u to overcome that barrier soon. =)

I think when friday comes, I'll be crying away like mad. I just so so miss you all now...especially sharing and chatting stuffs with my friends. I just can't imagine life without you all, especially wanyi and eileen. I'll be doing something for my friends, something that I know meant alot to me especially since I knew I worked so hard for it. Lol not gonna let the cat out of the bag at this time, but when the right time comes, I do hope you all will treasure it. Memories are the most treasured gifts you can ever have, be it good or bad. Without memories, friendship will not grow, and thinkings will not change. So treasure everything you have now, before its too late. When the parting time comes, I do not know how I will react; but I just want to let everyone know: I love ya all ~ Especially CHC and N184 because my life has changed much for the better in the last few months.

Hellos =)

My buddy going army with me! =)

Evelyn singing =))

Me and Eileen

Michael broke the ice cream lol

Chicken Wings :P

Leftovers lol

Me and Basil

Me and Michael

BEFORE Buffet with Wanyi

AFTER Buffet with Wanyi

Wanyi

Us Blahhx

LOL

Nice ~

=P wahahas

Us again

Personal Feelings

2006-12-07T21:56:00.000-08:00

Gosh its been so long since I posted. Its been almost 6 months since I came back from America. Wow time sure passes quick, but we must not ever forget the memories in our lives, good or unpleasant. Wells these few weeks have been great, even though there are bad memories present. Right now, I just want to blog because of the feelings that I have now. True, army life should be looked forward, especially for someone like me who's going into army in 1 weeks time. But however hard I try, no matter how messed up I'm trying not to feel, I am still feeling down. I am going to miss many 'brothers' and 'sisters' (policy change in CHC) and mostly, I am going to miss besties whom I've got closer to these past weeks. LOL family included ar, vivian and eileen AH MA. Well anyways, I'm not really dreading 16 dec, but I'm concerned about friends and what's going to happen after I go MIA. I'm concerned most especially for friends who always share things with me. Thats how much I treasure friendships, that how much I treasure you =)

Friendship rocks yeah...and it always have been in the past, right now, and the future. But other stuffs aside, I want to talk about relationships and love. I just felt that since alot has happened recently, I should give and voice out my point of view about love. Firstly, to love someone is that you're willing to sacrifice for her, and to provide her with the best you can give on this earth. Some say love is all you need in your life, because its the greatest gift God has given to us. But what is love when you're poor? Love is not going to feed you. It's not going to make miracles happen and give you a house and a car; Its not going to be everlasting too like what pastor Kong had said. If you feel jealous about other guys or things, then I say, it is NOT love. It's mere infructuation. It is even worst if God is left out in the equation of Love, because it is only self centered love. It takes 2 hand to clap just to be in love. True love is a decision to give your full attention to a single girl for the rest of the life. That is why teenagers rarely finds true love, because theres just too much diversity in life. True love takes time to mature, to satuate, and to grow; something that's not going to happen in just a few weeks or months. Seek God first, and let God settle the rest for you.

No one is perfect in life. There may be times when humans just couldn't control their emotion, but its up to the other party to know his/her limits. Firstly, always respect other people's privacy before expecting the same in return. Humans know no limits in life. Thats why when we play or fellowship together, we must set a limit for ourselves in other not to cross the line. People have different habits and characteristics, and what you like to do might not be acceptable to the other party. So control, and limit your life. Wells thats mostly what I wanted to voice out. There's so much I still want to write about my life everyday, but it just doesn't have enough space to write all out. This week mostly have been about exercising for me and jason since we're going into army real soon. And yes, wednesday was the first time in my entire life that I ran 4km. Satisfied =) Look at Eileen's post for this week, since we're always out together lol. So yeah, thanks for the attention here yeah...I know I crap alot today, but its meaningful right? *winks* below are some random picture from these few days. Enjoy

Erm...cannot upload file now...upload pictures another time yea =)

A Day of Revival

2006-12-04T09:31:00.001-08:00

Wow its been a great day, as I felt the renewal of my faith in the Lord. Praise God for that! After yesterday's sermon during cgm, I just felt so wonderful, as if a key has been plugged into me, opening up the treasures and heart to worship. So like what pastor said, prayer is the highest key to seeking God. Anyways I woke up this morning to wait for my certificate to arrive, and I was kept waiting until I dozed off again. The DHL man came at around 11.30am, while I was asleep, and he called my handphone to ask me to open my door. LOL. So here it is, the long awaited certificate I've gotten in America.

Pima Community College Certificate

Anyways after I woke up, I just didn't felt like going back to sleep again. So I woke up and slack around the house. Then was supposed to meet Evelyn to go out together, but she paiseh lol. So in the end asked Vivian and Eileen along. Hahas Vivian and Eileen late as usual. Jason said he cannot make it, Gracelyn last minute said shes not coming along, and Wilber didn't pick up his phone. So was kinda bored at first because I didn't know what to do today. Somehow, suggestions led up to going lau pat sat, and we just went. LOL that was the most random trip I had in my life. So totally unplanned but everything just turned out ok. Lol and today, I bless all the sisters with FOOD. Wahahas we had alot of food, and it burned a hole in my pocket =) But its all so worth it, because we enjoyed the food didn't we?

I bought all these food. lol

Indian Rojak

Chinese Carrotcake

Western Chickenwing

After eating everything, this is what it looks like...

Rojak GONE

Carrotcake GONE

Chicken GONE

Evelyn is still hungry =P

So we ordered another spring chicken since they are all still hungry. LOL boy we're all like hungry ghosts today. Hahas. Total spent: $6 on carrot cake, $6.90 on rojak, $4 on chicken wings, $6.50 on spring chicken. LOL all not including tax and gst, and drinks and fruits lol.

Aftermath of the poor spring chicken...GONE lol

Us...

Us Again...

Me and Evelyn

In the mood for christmas...not me lol

So after having fun with the food, we left the place, and Vivian made us walk one big round. Nvm walking is a form of exercise and its good for health. lol. Took the train to city hall, and we went to marina square to walk around. Hahas we slack in there, chat rubbish, and eat ice cream while waiting for Michael. Finally the cookiesfreak appeared. Lol then we just walked around. Reached bowling there, then something happened which I consider it as a miracle. Eileen agreed to play bowling for the first time in her life! LOL so in the end, 4 of us minus Evelyn played bowling. Hahas we had alot of fun there, and its so funny to teach Eileen and Vivian how to bowl, because Eileen just walk up and anyhow throw, while Vivian throw as though shes playing slamdunk with a bomb. lol =)) but overall we had alot of fun yeas? We shall go again =) After that just walked around and took some photos, then took the train back Yishun. Hahas we had alot of photo taking sessions in the train too...So paiseh because people were looking at us all when taking photos... After that accompany Eileen to photocopy her thing with Vivian, slack around awhile, then went home. Hahas enjoy ^^

Thanks Michael :S

Cool Eh?

Eileen and Evelyn

Eileen and Evelyn...Cute lol

Me and Evelyn

Me and Eileen

Us Three =D

=.=""

Hahas...Poster Color?

Me and Eileen

Awww I think I'll miss my hair....

Have U wondered...where's vivian? That lazy....lol

Scary...-.-

Wells, below are some random pictures from church last saturday, after fellowship. Sob...I really am going to miss my current image...My beautiful hair =((

Me and Minghui

Me, Eileen, Gracelyn

Me and Jason

I'm gonna miss myself...

Me and Bevan

Bye...

Power Of Music

2006-12-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

Ok so I'm feeling a little down right now, for no clear reasons. Erms I wonder who remember the talentime night in the chalet, where I told some of you guys that there's this girl's voice that captivated me? Hahas sigh now I'm just feel so down, and when I was in Wanyi's blog, that song captivated me, and her voice just flood into my mind and memory. Its the first time in my life I'm feeling this way, and I just wish that by some chance I can know her, and find her. If only how much music can change my mood. If only everyone knows.

....

Ok, sad things aside. I'm still feeling sad lol. I just felt that so much in my life is happening, for reasons which I dare not think of. For reasons I dare not face it. But anyways, how I wish someone in my life can understand what is going through in my mind now. I do trust God for all things that have been placed in my life at the right time. I felt that NS is the right time. The right strength of my spiritual growth to reach saturation. NS is the turning point of my life. This I am sure. Right now, my life is at the point where I'm opening myself from emotional walls. Though scars still lingers, though pain still flashes; I am in no doubt, opening myself up to new feelings and the heart to accept new love. It is hard, I tell you.

....

Anyways, cgm is great today. Felt the presence of God coming back into my life. I felt my life totally changing in the face of the present. Now is the time, where heaven blends, with earthly saints. Now is the moment, where life compose, and love trembles. I pray, that with this, spiritual breakthrough shall come, and falls upon my friends. My cell group. I forgive all who've done me wrong, and all that have happened. Oh God, I just want you back into my life, and renew my mind all over again. Refresh my soul, and let my spirit breathe. Living water shall flow, and heaven shall open, pouring down tons of blessings. Let us live in abundance, where we don't lack in our life. Lord I give you my heart, take all of me, bring forth your heaven, your will be done. WoOoOOo HoOoOo... AMEN! I shall be going into army soon, for the better, and I shall do proud of everyone.

A Heart to Miss, A Soul to Love, A Life to Learn

2006-11-30T09:01:00.000-08:00

As I was about to sleep, another rush of emotion came through me again. This time the feeling is not to my ex gf, but rather its about my own life now. I'm suddenly surrounded in the midst of enchanting jolt. A jolt from heaven. From nowhere, I'm clothed in sadness and dead silence. Knowing that I'm going to army soon. Knowing that theres so many people I'll miss. Knowing that my 'family' will feel the difference once I'm away from their life. Somehow, I'm dreading the date of enlistment now. To those who knows me, understands me, and felt my pain: I love you all so so much, and I really can't let go anymore. Knowing you from church, especially in N184 is the best thing that ever happened to me. I can't let it go now. I wouldn't let it go. And I'll never forget the sweet memories I share with everyone in cell group.

....

Never seen the emotional side of me? I've got an irky feeling ( or should I say, wonderful?) that very soon, some of my friends, brothers and sisters, will get to see it real soon. A thought just came to me, that in fact you guys all never did see my emotional side before. All thanks to my emotional walls. Oh, didn't you all know that I am actually a very emotional guy? Oh yeah, I am, but I've just been shut away for too long. Thank God that I came into N184, and I didnt choose to leave. Because if I had left, I wouldn't experience the happiest times of my life ever since....erm...3 yrs ago? True, even though there may be disagreements at times, but still its these imperfection in all of us that draw us closer together. So thats why when I choose to Love another in future, I'll accept her wholly, her flaws and heart. For without both good and bad habits, a couple can only grow in love to a certain limits. Love has no limits. Sigh~

....

Other than all my feelings today, I also want to thank a few people in my life right now. Because without you all, I'll not be where I am today. Wanyi, thanks for the wonderful chats together, and for bringing me to church. Thank you for the wonderful times together. Eileen, thanks for crapping and getting into great conversations together. I just love sharing everything under the sun with you ( Definitely will miss the times together after I go in =P). Wilber, thanks for sharing so much with me last time. Get ready to grow in the Lord =) Johnson, thanks for teaching me, guiding me in my life, and understanding us all. You rock =). And most of all, CHC go-ers and N184, you all ROCK. I LOVE YA ALL!!

Relax

2006-11-28T10:28:00.000-08:00

I'm back now =) First, thank you wonderful readers for always reading my blog. Hahas thanks for your support. Wells anyway was supposed to meet Wanyi, Jinmin, Jason for gym this morning. Turned out that my phone didnt wake me up and I woke up after 11am. So totally lame man! Hahas anyways called Wanyi after that and told her I overslept. Then took my own sweet time to prepare myself to go out. Hhaaas actually meeting at 12pm. In the end we push the time back to 12.45pm. Guess what, we met up after 1.30pm. So lame! Argh hahas. Family has a bad habit. That is the habit of not being on time.

....

We had lunch together at northpoint food court, then after that we went to our ususal spot for basketball. Thank God for the weather today! It was actually raining quite bad in the morning, but when we started playing basketball, the rain miraculusly cleared. Had basketball fellowship again, and we had quite alot of fun today. Half way through the game, Wanyi and Clarice joined us. Then we started playing games. Those who didnt get the ball in will have to forfit. In the end, I had to turn round in a circle many many times lol. Hahas after that, something sad happened. Jinmin's bag got stolen, along with his precious belongings. Next time we shall put our bags together ok? Anyways we made our way to the interchange, then had dinner together.

....

After dinner, we went down to safra to play bowling. Started around 9pm hahas. Wanyi's skill is getting better and better, and Clarice is a great player =) Half way through the game, I started skipping and dancing in the bowling alley. LOL I think I'm getting too hyper lately hahas. After the game, we made our way back, and wanyi me vivian clarice stayed at the yishun park. Vivian and Clarice send songs to each other while me and wanyi sat on the swing and started singing praise and worship songs. =D Hahas really had such a great time today, especially after singing so many songs with wanyi together. Thanks Wanyi! =) Chit chat after that, then we made our way back home. Hahas really glad to be spending some time with Wanyi today. Its been really a long time hahas. Thanks everyone for everything!

Tough Times

2006-11-26T09:47:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry for being away for so long again. Yeahs I'm back blogging now in the middle of the night, because I just have so much in mind right now that I want to let it all out. Today, we organised a fellowship outing, and asked alot of people along. In the end, only family is present. The rest of the people are either busy with their lifes, busy with their friends and lan games, or some people just couldn't be bothered about how people will feel when they are absent from their life. Took family photo today at Lot 1, Chua Chu Kang, then walked around and left the place for home after that. Ok anyways so much has happened lately. I just do not want to bottle myself up of all the emotions for fear of feeling so congested inside. Firstly, Its about someone in our cell group who just couldnt be bothered about anything. I am going to name out people, so pardon me for being so blunt today. Jinmin, I just find that his attitude towards God is wrong, especially when worshipping and praying to God. When we pray to God, lift up our hands for goodness sake. Its not as though there are stones pulling the hands down. So please, pray to God with a heart thats set at the right place.

....

Another part I want Jinmin to know is about blessings. Firstly, even though he's still a young christian, he must not take blessings for granted. I remember there was once during our basketball fellowship where he's hungry. After that, he went up to all of us and said: Who can bless me with a plate of chicken rice? Oh GOD, blessings come from a willing heart, and blessings are considered a surprise giving from someone else. If you walk around and about asking people to bless you with a plate of chicken rice, thats not blessing. Thats begging for food. Do learn it right friends. Also, I just want Wanyi to know, that I am disappointed with the directions of life shes taking. Friends, if you know that your schedule is tight, and that you have so much things to do, please SET YOUR PRIORITIES RIGHT. If you can spend so much time with Gwen and Shuhui, if you can spend ALOT of time with Minghui, if you can have time to fellowship with other cellgroup, if you can have so much time to meet up a total stranger you've met in friendster, why can't you just take a tinnie little blt of your time and spend it with all of US? I am just so frustrated because I always requested for fellowships to be planned, and planning outings for cell group, but I am always rejected from the activity in the last minute. It is so upsetting do you know that? Knowing that you've planned something and the person didnt turn up because shes with someone else from other cell group.

....

So yeah, alot has happened. Especially today. I just felt that it's my fault for everything that has turned out today. I dunno why but when Eileen cried just now, I just felt so down, and just wished that theres something I can do to comfort her. Sigh. I was concerned for her, and all I got back from her afterwards is attitude. I just hated today's event. Friends, take your time in everything you do. You will never know that the next step in your life might be a devastating blow. As for me, I just felt that God has given me a vision and a destiny, and I'll do my best to achieve that dream God has put into my heart. I do hope everything will turn out ok tomorrow. It really felt as though it is my fault for all that has happened. WTH

These Few Days

2006-11-20T06:57:00.000-08:00

Wells haven't been blogging for a long time with pictures, so this post shall mostly be dedicated to pictures, since pictures always tell a thousand words. Anyways, wells not going to be affected by my current feeling while typing this post. Okies shall I start talking about the church service on last saturday? Last saturday was the friendship connection in church, so I was like trying to invite as many friends as I could to come to service with me. Surprisingly, I managed to invite Clement Tan to go along with me. I was surprised because his parents are buddhist and so I thought he might not be able to go de. So yeah, I managed to touch a close friend whom I've known since sec 1 to go along with me :D Service was extremely great, and Clement went down to the front with me that day too, though he might not know why he went down to the front for ( To accept Christ into his life) lol. After that, we celebrated sister WenLing's birthday, and its like so loud. Fellowship after that was great =) and we had our dinner at tampines mall. Basketball game after the food, (oh and, thanks Johnson for blessing me with the food =) ) and went back home all tired out. Great service, and I'm glad that I had the free hotdogs with Clement too. Then on the way back home, I took alot of pictures, myself, me with brothers, and me with Evelyn =D

Brothers of N184 =)

Me and Juncen...Cool huh

Me and Evelyn :D

Me and Evelyn the Previous Week

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Me and Wilber the Previous Week

Hahass while posting these pictures, I realised I changed alot, to how I look now....

AFTER

Me =X

...

okies...dun laugh.... =D

...

BEFORE

OMG

(O.O)""

Ok...enough laughs now...lol

Me and Evelyn...Again

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Me and Evelyn...Again lol

Me Zilian :D

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Me Zilian Again

...

Then on sunday, we had cgm, and its really great especially the worship part, because we were worshiping God for more than an hour, and I felt so much spiritual attacks, but I always kept paster Kong's word in mind: Never forget who I am in the past, so that I can move towards the future. Hahass its great overall, just slightly disappointed with wilber's celebration for his birthday. Felt like a waste of our/my effort for his birthday. Really luhhs just gave us all the bo chap attitude, then so tired of that changed character of his. Someone say: People change for the better, he change for the badder. Hahas but anyway forget it lol. After that we went for basketball, then started raining so we went to eat first. Hahas after that the family of N184 play basketball together :P It was very fun.

...

Today, the whole family went out shopping again. Hahas so sick of planning so we just went to orchard to talk rubbish and just play around. We met up at 1pm but wilber didn't wake up, so me vivian and eileen went to walk around northpoint while waiting for wilber. We made our way down to orchard road, and just slack around. XD took loads of fotos, and had lots of fun time, especially with eileen ah ma. Hahas..and wilber mummy was just entertaining all of us. While walking on orchard road, all of us saw something that caught our eyes, and we were like...OMG

Look at the car! Ferrari OMG

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My Dream Car ~

Below are some pictures that our family took on this family vacation today. Hahas...

Whose mouth is that? LOL

OUCH! Ah Ma is STUCK

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lol Acting Cool?

WTH are we doing? LOL

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.

Notice Eileen...She look so TOOT hahas

Family Photo =P

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Me the Little Rascal Below lol

O.O BYE O.O

Exhausting...

2006-11-12T08:36:00.000-08:00

I'm back blogging now. Lol I apologize for all these late blogging, just so kinda tired lately so I didn't have time to write stuffs on my blog. Wells not feeling well spiritually, and physically, and work is just so tiring. Got home at around 12am on friday, and just couldnt wake up on time. I woke up late, real late for the wedding ceremony on saturday morning. In the end, I had to rush down to jurong west building for the service. Hahas on the way in the train, I met Juncen, and he's late too. Me and him and his friends just took a cab to the building. Thank God we make it in time for the wedding ceremony :D The service is really special, and its the first time I attended a church wedding. I think in future when I get married, I shall have a church wedding, in the sanctuary of the holy house of God. It's so great to be married and wedded in the presence of God. I love the holy trinity :) After that we went down to expo and queue up for the church service. Wow service is seriously EXHAUSTING partly because I worked late the previous day, but also I didnt had a good rest the last few days. Hahas Rev. Ulf came to our church to preach ( reason why we felt so tired: we can't concentrate on the monotoneous voice he used lol) But towards the ending where he talks about testimonials, we just became awake lol. This is a great service, and its the first time we had a 3 hour...3 HOUR church service. OMG
....

I was extremely deflated when I got home after fellowship on saturday after church, that I kinda just lay dead on my bed as soon as I rested my body. So down on sunday when I woke up. Why's that? I woke up at 12pm. I was like OMG I'm so late for cg, because cgm starts at 12pm, and I woke up at 12pm when wilber called me to ask where I am. Was more than an hour late and when I got to cgm, everyone has just ended the cg meeting. But thank God that Johnson is so nice, and he gave me cgm one on one. After that we just went for fellowship together and had our first badminton fellowship together. We had alot of fun, and everyone enjoyed themselves. This time round, wilber bless everyone for the first hour of badminton, and I blessed everyone for the second hour. Hahas sures its alot of fun, and I'm sure that everyone enjoyed themselves. But a word of caution: Do make sure that the person who bless others feel the joy and exhilaration of giving. It doesn't take much to show appreciation. A simple thanks is all that is needed. :D Do hope that everyone shall start to show more love and care of each other so that no one will felt left out in the cell group.

....

On a simple overview of my life, work is just tiring on monday to wednesday, with so much misunderstanding and miscommunication. The thing that made it worst is when others kept using vulgarities on you. Thats what I dislike most. Also, many things have happened these few days, especially in my own spiritual life and life in the secular world. Wilber and I do had lots of problems and setbacks in our lifes, and I'm sure that everyone out there have their own problem too. However, I ask for your prayer for us, to grow spiritually as brothers of Christ, and for breakthrough in our cell group. Like I've said, theres only I can do so much to pull this cell group together, but it takes everyone to change our world, our life. Its a small deal that seemed so insignificant, but that small little faith is all that's needed to bring all of us into Kristos Kai Kosmos. Nowadays, I seemed to be having a feeling in my own body, which is telling me to do stuffs, and I always seeemed to be so overtaken by this voice. When I'm told to fast, I actually set my own mind to fast, and I'm surprised. However, this feeling I had inside me is telling me to bless someone in my cell group. Its the first time that I'm willing to give so much, yet I'm afraid and worried that this voice I heard is not the voice from God, but of the devil. Friends, I do need help on this matter to why I'm feeling all these. Can anyone guide me out of this obscurity?

So Left Out?

2006-11-08T09:46:00.000-08:00

I'm currently disappointed with my cg members, as well as church 'friends'. Johnson has been asking about where our heart is, and if its even present in the cell group, and why our cell group is not growing. My question is: How can we promote unity and touch the lost souls out there, when we are disheveled within? Personally, I felt that everything is starting to crumple and its falling. This is my personal feeling, and this is MY blog, so do not feel offended if you read here since I felt so left out right now. When a group of church 'friends' went out together and I wasn't invited or asked to go along, It'll be fine if that person just said...oh I went out with church friends or cell group friends. But what really torment me most is when a person say: Oh, I went out with MY friends. I mean, come on. Is our church and cell group so united outside, so dissipated within? Ain't cell group friends your friend, my friend, our friend? So whats with... I went out with MY friend. Somehow this sentence alone made me wonder if our cell group are friends during the weekends, strangers during the weekdays. I'll have felt better if everyone uses the term 'cell group friends' instead of MY friend, because it made me wonder many times if I am really so pathetic that I don't have any friends.

...

Why isn't our cell group growing? Simple enough, its because we're all NOT UNITED. This is not just to N184, but to N336 too. Have everyone wondered why E371 people made us felt so warmth to be around with? They are all united, and when they go out together, at least they all made the effort and to care, by asking each other along even though they knew everyone might be busy. Everyone might give the excuse, oh I'm still young so I don't know how to get along with people who are older, like me, jason, zeph...etc. Friends, age doesn't determine your ATTITUDE. Its the altitude on the friendship scale that counts. If you really care about each other, then you wouldn't have given the 'bo chap' attitude. I may be more matured in my thinking, but that doesnt give the young teenagers any excuse not to handle their attitude properly. When I was working half way just now during the night shift, Jin min suddenly called me and asked me if I am going for the basketball game tomorrow. My response? WHAT? When was it planned? Where is it? What time is it? Do you know that when Jinmin asked me just now, I was shocked? No one bothered to ask me along. NO ONE. When I told him that I didn't know about it, he simply just...end our conversation. Nothing else, not even ask me if I want to go along.

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If we can't even show the friends whom we have invited to church that we love one another in the cell group and affiliate cg, how will they be able to feel the love of God through us? I might be fasting, we might be fasting together, but are our hearts and souls together? Remember, different amounts, equal sacrifices. If we can't do a simple thing to show that we care for each other in the cell group, we might as well forget of inviting people to our church. Since we can't unite in the small group, we can't succeed in greater task of getting our friends to accept Christ. Friends, I've been fasting for 3 days already, and seeing this attitude from everyone, I'm getting sick of it. I'm sacrificing myself for my friends, but my cg 'friends' didn't even bother about me. Does everyone know how frustrating this is? Theres only so much I can do. But when one fine day comes and I cannot take it anymore, I'll just...leave. I'm sick now, I'm working in the kitchen from 10am to 10pm, and yet I put my faith and trust in God to perform miracles for my friends through fasting. If I never gave up because of these small setbacks, how can you all give up of uniting together?

Mixed Feelings

2006-11-06T10:25:00.000-08:00

I just don't want to post anything here now, even though I've got so much on my mind, so much weird and mixed feelings inside me all bottled up, and so much memories which I so long to forget, yet cling on to it for it is my life. I want to try and accept new feelings into my life, yet I can't do it. I want and long to forget the old ones so that I can move on, yet I failed again and again. I want to remove this brick wall, yet I just didnt have enough strength to knock it down. I want a BREAKTHROUGH thats what I want. I want to see my life totally transform, in this land of the living. I want but it takes time to achieve it. I need someone to share all these with, all my feelings, yet no one seemed to be have the time for me anymore. Its either they keep to themselves, or they kept to their own group of friends. If its neither, its friends I've got who couldn't be bothered about others anymore. This is my life. This is THE life. Its a life which I detest, and if God hasn't been with me all along, and comforting me, boy I think I might have given up my life and all my friends ( If that is, I still have any) Sigh~ I also dunno whats wrong with me, starting to develop feelings for someone (whom I shall not elaborate) Its a feeling I haven't had for years, and its starting to freak me out. Remember about heart beat fastening and speeding up, and those craps when u see someone u like and got the hangs for? Yeah thats how I'm feeling. Scary...

Arise and Build

2006-11-04T09:45:00.000-08:00

I've not been blogging since my last emotional post. Today is a rather special day, so I've decided to edge this post into my life story. Its November 4, 2006 and its the first arise and build for me. First, I want to thank God, the foremost important Lord of my life. Next I want to thank Johnson for opening my mind about giving to the building fund. Different amounts, but EQUAL sacrifice. I might have missed out on the building fund this time, but today is nevertheless an important day of my life. On this date, I've gave God my first ever tithings! Even though its hard to part with the money, but I trust in God for my salvasion and for my provision. Hehes and I made my first pledge from the amount God spoke to me. This pledge, is going to be what I'll fulfill for my next building fund, and this time round I'll join hands across denomination with my family to build U oh Lord a strong and mighty church.

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So after service, I'm left broke so I went to the atm machine to draw some money. After my food, I just felt really so thankful and joyous that I wanted to bless my cell group with something. So i bought 'zui kwah' for the sisters and brothers. I felt so happy after that, knowing that even though I've not much in my bank left and yet I still bless my cg, and give God my tithes and offerings. Not much after that, just took some photos with evelyn, wilber, and myself hahas. Came home and then started resting and typing this blog. Oh yeah, thanks Wanyi for your wallet :D

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Today is filled with memories, and joy from the Lord :D Had a few mixed feelings today, felt something really funnie, something which I haven't felt for some time. Wells im not going to elaborate into this subject, just that all I want to do is to pray to God for his guidance. I dunno what is going on in me right now, but I just pray that whatever happens, God will always be there to guide me every step. Hahas ok gotta go...bye all

A letter of hope, faith, love

2006-10-29T09:40:00.000-08:00

As I was caught in the wind of emotions that surrounds me, I've taken up looking back at my previous posts in my blog. It is now, right at this moment, that I've lost what I've failed to cherish with all my heart and soul. I realised how immatured I was back then, both mentally and spiritually. Somehow, I stumbled past a post dated in october, and I remembered that very precious moment when I've made a wish I truely embrace. A wish that will not come true now, nor the future. For some gapless unexplainable reason, I've decided to post my final love letter to her, Agnes, a girl whom I've failed to embrace and cherish all my life. I've failed her, my love o her. It may have been so many months since we last separated, but this letter, it speaks of how I feel as I'm typing this post. I'll never forget all the memories I have stored in my mind, be it good or bad. Because with her image in any memories, I'll cherish it all my life.

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Dear Agnes,
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It's 3am now, a time that I seldom sleep around these days, but I've made a promise to myself and I'll keep it no matter what. Recalling all my thoughts from the past few days, selfish time had made me a fool again. As the date of me returning to Singapore draws near, I found myself thinking. Yes thinking, not on the impression I'll make to my friends in Singapore, nor the look I'll bear once I get into the army, but I've been thinking about you. As the evil date of 30th June draws closer, I found myself in despair as I dug out the feelings I had, and still have for you. Even though u've told me countless times again and again that u'll not look back to the past, I still wouldn't believe that my fate with you has ended. I remember the times that I've been to church with you, and the curse your parents put on me going because of you. I've seen alot through the times in church together, and indeed I've thought about God's teaching after that. Its the faith that counts, something which I have hoped to share with you even in future.
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Staring up into the sky while everyone else is enjoying themselves at the bbq today, all I could think about was the time that we've fallen in love so deeply, and the hardship we're willing to undertake no matter what. The more I thought about you, I found myself craving for you to be by my side where I can show you how much I care. Nothing about you can be forgotten, and u'll always be stitched in a location where our heart belongs. When I look into your eyes on our last outing, I saw something that sparks in you. Your eyes...those flow of ocean, tells about how much you care. Looking into those pair of beautiful angelic eyes, it brought back fond memories between us that we share. From our first kiss together, till our very last, everything floods back into my memory as if it had happened not long ago. Everything is perfect no matter what u and me have to endure, and I thank God for it.
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While reading the book u've bought me titled 'The Wedding', I realised how blessed I've been to love you. I tried countless times to ignore the feelings I still kept about you, but each time I failed misarably. Love is not a sin. Love is a gift made by God in heaven, and Love is something that withstands everything. Even as I'm writing my final letter to you before I go, the urge to hug you again kept coming up, a sign maybe that I still do Love you. "I'm just a normal guy, with a normal house, and I've led a normal life. There are no monuments dedicated to me, and my name will soon be forgotten. But I've Loved another with all my heart, and to me, that has always been enough". This love enchanting tale and quote tells u exactly how I feel when I'm with you. You're my dear, and you'll always be.
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I promised you once that I'll learn how to make straw stars and give to you someday, and I'll do that not because its a chore to get it done, but because u've bought so much Love, Joy, Sadness, Love to my life, and I want you to have something that comes from my heart. Just like winter sonata, my life story with you is over here in Tucson, but my Love for you has not. U've taken a piece of me with you, and I want you to treasure it no matter what happens in future. I trust you, just as I trust in God. If we were meant to be, we will find each other back again. But if I do see u in future with another life with someone else, I'll smile at you and remember the Love you've stolen from me a long time ago, and the times we had together in America. I'll Love you now, I'll Love you in future, and I'll Love you forever.
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With all my heart and soul,
.
Christopher Lee
June 26, 2006
3.47am
Oro Valley, AZ, USA

Hurt my wrist

2006-10-22T09:26:00.000-07:00

Wells tired these few days...anyways today have been a really good, and really bad day for me. Anyways church yesterday was great, though not as good as I want our cg to grow. After church went fellowship with my cg mates, then came home earlier so that I can have more rest. In the morning, woke up and got myself ready for gym...Went there and had a great time workout. After that I rushed down to cgm and reached there on time :D

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Played da fong chui...I paste my paper on daniel buttock hahaa....then so funnie luhhs everyone need to put their hands on his buttock lol. I was laughing like mad because I made him the buttock man hahas... then after that we had our praise and worship song, and we got own into the topic. After cgm went for Bball fellowship from 2pm and play until 9pm lol. Alot of things happened today, but I shall not say it here.. I injured my wrist as a result though. But after that we went for dessert and had many funnie jokes....hahas laugh until wanna cry luhhs lol.

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After that we went back to the Bball court and play somemore until 9pm ahahas...I really perspire alot today worss hahas so much so until my pants became all wet too, like as though I've just came up from swimming. Came back home after that for dinner and then its getting prepared to sleep le. Sigh anyways alot of things happen today, and yea wells I think its time to make a decision for myself. To stay or not to stay. I trust God to prepare my life for me, and I know that whatever choice I make will be the right one. Hahaas sorry arrs kinda tired today so gonna sleep and cant really type well... Night all :D

Preparing...

2006-10-17T08:08:00.000-07:00

Heys all I'm here blogging...surprised? Hahas yeah today is really early right...because I'm gonna sleep early tonight, and prepare myself for a big day tomorrow! Why's that? Because I'm going to fast for the first time ever since I got saved. Hahas yeah even though I'm still a baby christian, I want to start learning what I should be doing to matured into an adult christians. Wells anyways after basketball yesterday, my body is aching even worst! Hahas yeah I woke up then was aching so bad that first thing I did was to sit on the osim chair! Haha that bad...then after that I went over to work, and thank God that I don't feel as tired as usual.

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Work was ok today...after work then I came back home straight, and sat in the osim chair for about 2 hours plus hahas...Thats how tired I was. Just slacked around the house, watch tv, and online for some time. Wells I had maggie mee at home for dinner, and so I am just goonna get ready for...fasting! Hahas its gonna be hard seeing how big my body is. But then again, with God, nothing is IMPOSSIBLE. So yeah, I am just gonna go sleep soon since I am sooo tired.

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Hmm hangten called me just now, and asked me to go down again to collect our pay. I mean, I already gave them my bank account number ad yet they still want me to go down and collect the check. Its abit too much for them right? Yeah so I cannot go down tomorrow since I'm working whole day, but I hope to get it soon. Hehes ohh and I can't wait for church this week again... I just miss church so much, that its like having a constant tummyache all the time. Jesus...just wished that saturday will come faster...hehes. And hopefully this month will end even faster so that I can get my new handphone...hehes.

OUCH

2006-10-16T08:55:00.000-07:00

Hahass ouch? Yeah ouch! Hahas wells not much today just that I slept late last night again, meaning that I woke up this morning and feeling sorry for myself. So yeahs, Ima go sleep soon but just gonna be blogging abit... So yeah went to work today, feeling so tired with my whole body aching. Hahas why?? Ouch!! Yeah gym train chest and arm muscle, then during fellowship use my arm muscles and leg hahas. In combo, hand + leg + chest = OUCH! Hahas my whole body is aching. Tomorrow morning when I wake up, I'm going to use... *shhhhh* my parent's osim chair...hehess...

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So work was tiring but thank God that it's only half day. Came back yishun and on the way, jin ming sms me and ask if I wanna play basketball anot. Hahaas of course I want! Ouch here ouch there also will not stop me from being together with my cg! Hahas yea! Wells in the end I played for a little while before going off, because today is my mum's bd. Hahass Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to MUMMY!!!! Happy birthday to you. Hahas I'm so lame sia lol. Then my dad came and fetch me, and we went to jack's place for dinner. Hahas I ordered the fire steak, which supposingly have whiskey in the steak but I can't taste any at all. Aww but when my order came, the guy light the fire and my steak was on fire! Hahas everyone turned and look at me...so paiseh sia hahas.

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Eating at jack's place reminds me of when I was young, I went to jack's place to celebrate my mum's bd too. That time, my dad spent a total of $123 bucks. Hahass and even after so many years, think got about 10 years? Lols anyways, we spent a total of $124 bucks today :D hahas 1 buck more than the 1st time. Sweet memories :D Okies...almost 12 midnight so gonna sleep soon. Btw, I just changed my foto on the right hand side :D How do u guys find it? Do I look much better with the short hair? hahas. Okies gonna go...hope theres basketball tomorrow again :D

Tiring, Fulfilling

2006-10-15T08:15:00.000-07:00

I'm back blogging now, but I guarentee its not gonna be long because I'm so darn tired! Wells church is kinda fun, then after church we had fellowship around foyer 3. Had bs with Johnson, then went back home and had supper with minghui, wanyi, vivian, gracelyn, jinming. Had a great fellowship with them, and I felt glad because it was my suggestion for supper and so many members stayed to fellowship. Then woke up today and went gym in the morning. Hahas I love training up my body and get ready for NS.

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After gym went over for cg, then we fellowship together after that. We played basketball for awhile, then we walked to northpoint and started shopping around and had KFC for our lunch. Hahass after that walk around somemore and I finally got a cake for my mum, for her birthday. Hahas my members are naughty...they wanted to do something to me lol. Went for more fellowship after that and we played basketball somemore. Wahahaa This time, we had so much fun and I was perspiring so much so that I could actually squeeze the perspiration out of my shirt. Hahas then we had alot of fun, with me and wilber entertaining everyone hahas. Its so fun really and I could actually feel that this is a breakthrough for our cg :D Good ain't it?

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Aww too bad Johnson couldn't join us for fellowship, but its been a really fun fun day. Oh and I'm getting my body more and more in shape these days. Heres another news for everyone...I've gotten my enlistment letter..Hahas yeah I'm going in on 16 december, meaning that I'll miss Christmas with my cg. :( Aww I could feel the disappointment within me now even though its still a long period to christmas. But anyway, I'll just leave it up to God to plan my life for me. I do hope that I can join everyone for christmas somehow. Ahh btw, I apologize for the monotoneous writing I have for blogging today, because I'm really really really really too TIRED!!! Hahas so I'm gonna sleep now. Thanks N184 n N336 brothers and sisters for the wonderful fellowship today...God said something to me today in cg, that our cg must have breakthrough, and starting from today, It's the beginning of eternity for all of us :D Also, God wants to let everyone read his Love letter to you, so take some time, look down the previous post, and just get filled and enjoy being in the presence of our Father. Amen.

zZzZzZz

2006-10-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

Alrighty this will be a super duper coper short blog, because its 1.30 in the morning, slept horribly short hours last night, terribly stressful work these few days, and working 10.30am to 10.30pm tomorrow! Yeah okies...well I noticed that some members from N184 and N336 have been feeling lonely and down these days. This first part will be dedicated to them :) My dear friends, I know exactly how you feel because I've gone through worst when I just came back from US. Imagine a life when you fine that everything in your life has turned upside down, all your 'best' friends have forgotten about you or simply to busy with their own lifes to bother about you, and a life where no one seemed to bother. So here I am, back to church and felt the change in my life, because friends, you're NEVER alone. Our God is always there for us, so don't let the demons have a chance to mess up your life. Brothers and sisters...gimme a call if you wanna go to esplanade or something okies? I'm free mostly between 3.30pm and 5pm, if not its after 3.30pm. Gimme a call...:) Get from wanyi or minghui my number.
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Ok I meant this to be a short post. Hahas. Wells work is so extremely busy man...and I'm so totally exhausted but I'm still here whenever anyone needs me, or need a friend to talk to and let off steam. Anyways I'm getting better at controlling my temper, and even though my work place is filled with many people smoking 3 packets a day, and using vulgarities all the time, I've never let that influence my life. :) Thank God hahas. So yeah its busy busy busy, tired tried tired, sleepy sleepy sleepy. But for the sake of a new hp and the building fund, I'm willing to work till I drop :D.
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Hahas just came back from supper with my work friends just now...I roller blade everywhere lol and I just felt that its time I hold onto my life, and start getting in shape in preparation for NS. Support me ok? Hahas. Oh yeah I just suddenly felt that I wanna ask everyone in N184, N336 and E371 to go gym together hahas. Anyone interested? We can organised to go together. Sigh ok I'm gonna go, for real. To take care of my injury from just now. I was skating on the road when I lost control, turned a leg, and just rolled a few times on the road. Nothing pretty serious injury though just some slight abrasions. Hahas okies see you all. God bless.

God's Love Letter To You

2006-10-10T08:59:00.000-07:00

Heys I'm back...shocked? Nahs I just felt that everytime after I've blogged, I felt a sense of peace, exhilaration, and achievement. Since its getting late and I'm working full shift tomorrow, this will be a short post to everyone. Wells I met Mona yesterday, and man, she looks great! Haha I remember the time when she was still in sec 1 and was invited to my birthday party, and she had this nerdy nerdy look that I just cant get out of my mind. Even after 2 years in America I still cant forget that look haha. Wells I had a pretty so-so day today, even though I lost my cool a work abit. Its this guy who was working with me, and I was getting really pissed by the way he ask me to do things, as if I'm under his command. I am only, and only under God's command. Lord, I'll work harder to bring up my faith level.

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Anyways yeah I lost my cool, got a lil angry, but I didnt sin this time :D Thank God for that. I apologize to him for losing my cool before, and everythings fine :) Oh and btw, I just want to say this on my blog right now. I believe in Kristos Kai Kosmos...that is Christ in culture and I do feel the change and moving of the church towards a new future. Perhaps its the time for another breakthrough, and its the arise and building fund thats going to start everything. We CHC go-ers are going to build a new church for our Lord almighty, and stadium where members from different division come together to worship. Ohh I do see the vision in my mind, where the new atmosphere is so great that the holy spirit falls down upon every single worshippers and let us worship him in tongues. So brothers and sisters, lets work together to build Him a new church without walls alright? But of course, you must have the FAITH before doing it. :D

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I wanted to share this for my dear N184 and N336, as well as E371 but I kept procrestinating and forgetting to do so. Heres a letter that I have for you guys, written by God Himself to us. I'm sure you all will love it =D

God's Love Letter to You
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I was at church one day and after the service, this stranger who was seating next to me opened his file and told me that I should have this letter. All I could react at that moment was just a simple thank you, but what I read from the letter moved me to tears. It has been my prayer to recieve and know God's love for me. And I believe this is a just a small fragment of what God plans to show me. And so I am sharing this letter with you, because God loves you as much too.
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My child,
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you may not know me, but I know everything about you (Psalm 139:1). I know when you sit down and when you rise up(Psalm 139:2), I am familiar with your ways (Psalm 139:3), even the very hairs on your head are numbered (Matt 10:29-31). For you were made in my image (Genesis 1:27). In me you live and move and have your being (Acts 17:28), for you are my offspring (Acts 17:28).
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I knew you even before you were conceived (Jeremiah 1:4-5). I chose you when I planned creation (Ephesians 1:11-12), You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book(Psalm 139:15-16). I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live (Acts 17:26). You were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), I knit you together in your mother's womb (Psalm 139:13), and brought you forth on the day you were born (Psalm 71:6).
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I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me (John 8:41-44) I am not distant and angry, but I am the complete expression of love (1 John 4:16) and it is my desire to lavish my love on you. (1 John 3:1) Simply because you are my child and I am your Father (1 John 3:1) I offer you more than your earthly father ever could (Matthew 7:11) For I am the perfect father (Matthew 5:48) Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand (James 1:17) For I am your provider and I meet all your needs (Matthew 6:31-33)
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My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) Because I love you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3) My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore (Psalms 139:17-18) And I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17) I will never stop doing good to you (Jeremiah 32:40) For you are my treasured possession (Exodus 19:5) I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul (Jeremiah 32:41)
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And I want to show you great and marvelous things (Jeremiah 33:3) If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me (Deuteronomy 4:29) Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4) For it is I who gave you those desires (Philippians 2:13)
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I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine (Ephesians 3:20) For I am your greatest encourager (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17) I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you (Psalm 34:18) As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart (Isaiah 40:11)
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One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes (Revelation 21:3-4) And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth (Revelation 21:3-4) I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus (John 17:23) For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed (John 17:26) He is the exact representation of my being (Hebrews 1:3) He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you (Romans 8:31) And to tell you that I am not counting your sins (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)
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Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you (1 John 4:10)
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love (Romans 8:31-32) If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me (1 John 2:23) And nothing will ever separate you from my love again (Romans 8:38-39)
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Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen (Luke 15:7) I have always been Father, and will always be Father (Ephesians 3:14-15)
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My question is, will you be my child? (John 1:12-13)
I am waiting for you (Luke 15:11-32)
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Love,
Your Dad. Almighty God